Stage One

Inspirational song: Get It On (The Power Station)

The time has come! Our solar panel installation has officially started! I have been dreaming of getting solar power for so many years, it is hard to believe it is actually underway. If I wasn't, well, me, I would be dancing on air.

The schedule had bounced around for a couple of months, because it takes time to get a system designed and then permitted through the city. The weather has been goofy too, but such is the nature of winter and spring in the Rockies. The last date we had was for it to begin next Monday. We were leaving Costco, with my little car stuffed to the gills, when we heard from the installation company that they wanted to come this afternoon and do some preliminary work. They needed to hang boxes on the outside of the house and run conduits to our panel and meter, or something like that. (I am no electrician, and I never will be.) We had barely begun unloading the car when they pulled up.

Saoirse tried to saunter out of the open garage and say hello to the friendly men in our driveway, and gave me a heart attack when she trotted towards the street. Training classes work, thank goodness, and she responded to my recall and went up to the porch. I kept her inside through most of their work, although she needed a little time outside late in the day. The men worked until nearly 7 pm, with the Mr and I wondering how late they would go, and would they just leave so we could sit in the hot tub without it being weird.

I assume the panels still go up on Monday. It's gonna be weird not having that giant black tower in the garage. It will be so open in there. And it will feel really neat being able to use electricity all day long and not wonder whether I'm being wasteful. I might buy an incandescent bulb, just to be naughty.

Just Lie Down

Inspirational song: Rock and Roll All Nite (Kiss)

This has to be quick. I'm typing surreptitiously in a dark room, with the brightness on my screen almost all the way down. This was our big test, getting the baby to sleep, and it was way harder than we imagined. So far, third time's a charm, bit that means I can't make a single sound or motion. She fell asleep on grandpa right when we got here and started watching a movie. Then she woke and it was party time. We brought her down and tried to read a bedtime story. Nope. So we went back up and watched a little more Disney. Back down, and I waited while she rolled all over the bed, sticking her butt in the air, and rocking herself as if she needed that to calm down. After nearly 45 minutes of this, she just cooked out. Three minutes later, grandpa stuck his head in the room to see whether he could go ahead and go back to the house. She woke, and it was cranky time all over again. She's out now, and so is he. So I will just sit here in the dark until her parents come home, and I'll load the sleepy boy into the car so I can go to sleep too.

Straight Up

Inspirational song: Wheel in the Sky (Journey)

Saoirse and I went on a delivery drive this afternoon. We dropped off a trunkful of donations at the thrift store and ran by the kids' house to hand over three big packs of baby wipes from the case I bought at Costco months ago. It was warm and breezy, and she got to ride with her head out the window the whole way. I couldn't get a photo of the look of ecstasy on her face while I was driving, but trust me, that was a happy dog.

I had been walking past that pile of donations every day since early February. It was almost as tall as my shoulder, and it brought my mood down every time I passed by it. I don't know whether finally taking it to the ARC will get me emotionally unstuck, but it feels possible now. Maybe.

Puppy and I didn't actually go inside the kids' house. The senior tuxedo cat (Moose) who does not like dogs came to the front door while we were there, and only the glass of the door kept Saoirse from having her face ripped off. So instead we stood outside and cuddled the baby for just a few minutes while we chatted. We were invited on a walk, and I had to decline. There wasn't wasn't cloud in the sky, and while most of humanity finds that cheerful, I find it agonizing. That giant ball of gas and fire has it out for me. I had been hiding under the eaves on the garage until it just wasn't enough shade anymore. The baby still got to go on her walk, and the wind modified her hairstyle charmingly. She looked like a classic 1970s London punk by the time she got home. Aw, she is taking after Auntie and Grandma.

Glow Little Glow Worm

Inspirational song: Nocturne Op. 9, No. 2 (Frédéric Chopin)

We just got back from the kids' house. We went over to witness firsthand the current bedtime routine and its relative degree of difficulty, so that we know what to do in a couple nights when we are babysitting. It is so much harder to get her to go down at bedtime than it is for a quick afternoon nap. 

It probably didn't help that she isn't used to seeing grandma and grandpa at bedtime. She felt the need to perform, and she got pretty spun up. Grandpa read the Very Hungry Caterpillar, and she got hugs from all of us, then she ping-ponged around her bed. It was obvious that she was sleepy, but sleep just wouldn't come. We lowered the lights (she has a red light to help with powering down) and she listened to tunes on her glow worm doll. And still she did not sleep.

Eventually we had to sneak out and go home, and let her mom and dad finish the bedtime process. I was left wondering whether she still has reflux, like she did as a tiny infant, or if she experiences body pain like grandma, but can't tell us where or how bad. She might be a born insomniac like her auntie. Or it could have just been too exciting having an expanded audience when she wasn't expecting it. I am not dreading being on my own to put her down on Tuesday. I'm actually looking forward to the challenge. I may not be as boastful when I'm faced with a squirmy Grump, but for now, I'm confident that I know what to do.

Really Red

Inspirational song: Just Another Day (Oingo Boingo)

Aw, I had plans of being useful today. I tried a few times. Didn't get very far. I got up early, so I had that going for me. And then after my first cup of coffee I needed to go back to sleep until almost 9. I don't think that coffee worked. I gave it another shot, being upright that is, not the coffee. I figured it was time to finish the hair color process, after giving the last round two weeks to settle. After years of my hair going ginger no matter what color I try to put on top of it, I decided to run headlong into actual red. Well, medium strawberry blonde anyway. It's darker and more burgundy than I have ever tried. Will see how I like it over the next several weeks. 

I was so ready to try the car detailing like I had been watching on YouTube for months. I tried. I really tried. I cleaned out the real estate signs from the trunk, took the baby seat out, brought Saoirse's blanket inside to wash (not that she stays on it perfectly in the car), and random receipts stuffed in the drink holder. I ran through the car wash (the subscription one -- best luxury self-care expense, even better than massage membership). I vacuumed the whole interior, and then headed home, expecting to grab all-purpose cleaner and UV protectant and keep going. That did not happen. Instead I had a light lunch and my head gained 80 pounds. My eyes kept closing. I fell asleep in my chair, off and on, over and over. I had all the signs of a breakthrough migraine (breaking through the Botox, which works most of the time), including that arrow through the back of the head feeling. So much for finishing the car. Ah, well, I have to put Saoirse in it tomorrow anyway.

You and Your Hobbies

Inspirational song: Folsom Prison Blues (Johnny Cash)

The girls and I need to get a new hobby. At least that's what I was told when we rolled another loaded shopping cart out of Target today. There's a reason we call the children's clothing section of Target, Walmart, Marshall's, etc, the "Danger Zone." It's just so much fun dressing up that live action baby doll. And it's not like Target et al don't know who their demographic is. I rolled up behind my daughter, and said no, we don't need any more clothes. And then we both caught sight of the sweatshirt that said "Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon Tour 1973," and we stayed long enough to start piling 18 month size stuff into the cart for that lengthening toddler. And when I saw the Johnny Cash hoodie had a pocket, well... How could I say no? Was a good thing I got it, too, when baby needed an outfit change before we got out of the store, and not just because it was colder when we left than when we came in.

After a few experiments, Val has learned that she can make better noise on my piano when she bangs on it more enthusiastically. Now, when she has learned to climb, she gets even better leverage on it. So we pulled out the bench and set her on it, and let her play us a tune. This kid is primed to be a musician. She just needs instruction, practice time, and the freedom to improv. One of the first stops in Target was the area where wooden baby toys are. There was a small toy piano, and we put it in front of her and showed her that it worked. Her face lit up, and I said, welp, grandma is definitely getting that, and I put it in the cart. She watched me closely, and wondered why she didn't get to keep it right away. Later I got a photo showing how happy she was to learn that it came home to her house with her. Points for grandma.

We got a lot done waiting for the hot tub repair man to show up today. I practiced deep cleaning with my new steam cleaner that I bought with an Amazon gift card I got from my boss, and the Mr made progress on building a work bench with drawers in the garage. If we aren't careful, we are going to be fully moved into this house, and have a functional place to park, after six years here.

This Little Piggy Stayed Home

Inspirational song: Keep On Working (Pete Townshend)

The mountains called and the Mr answered. He spent all day snowshoeing up to his cabin, and I, thankfully, did not have to do the same. It looked beautiful out there, and I'm sure the crisp air was probably refreshing. However, I don't have the lungs for that these days, and I am content with merely receiving photos from the hill.

The heater element went out on our hot tub the day of the big blizzard a couple weeks ago. There were 40-something days left in the warranty when we got through to the spa store (they were closed the day after the blizzard). So for a service fee that costs almost double of the actual part that is broken, we have a repairman coming to fix or replace it tomorrow. I have heard grumbling about the service fee, but I'm glad that someone else is doing it, and it's not yet one more task on the Mr's list of projects. He is learning that it is okay to hire out some tasks.

While I was home alone, I worked on cleaning up enough that I wouldn't be self-conscious when the repair guy shows up in the morning. I couldn't get to everything. It's just not possible anymore. I get winded after about five minutes now (yay, reduced lung function!) so I sit down a lot in between bursts of activity. I addressed a few things that had been ignored too long, like the real estate signs stacked next to my hallway. Funny how just a little change can make a big impact.

Character Development

Inspirational song: We Are Santa's Elves (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)

If you aren't already jealous of us getting to spend time with a superstar baby, you ought to be. This kid lights up our world. She is interactive and charming and the best part of this whole decade thus far. Watching her learn is fascinating. 

We had her for about six hours today. Minus the solid two-hour nap, it was four hours of giggling, crawling, snacking, and cuddling. Still no unassisted walking, no distinct words, but once again I was just sure she was singing quietly to herself.

We had our smaller game night this evening. Our player character San Ta'Clas (Santa) is transitioning even further towards a chaotic evil alignment. And what is worse, he has picked up two ogre henchmen/disciples. It's funny, generally, but hard to get used to. He didn't make this change on purpose, but a long series of behaviors caused the DM to declare he had crossed a line. Now it is utter chaos.

Return

Inspirational song: The Battle of Evermore (Led Zeppelin)

A day after shocking tragedy, life goes on. On the way home from a good dermatology visit (skin check -- all clear), I went to my local King Soopers. It could have been because it was just a Tuesday morning, but the parking lot felt empty and the store felt quiet and the people inside introspective. Maybe it was just me.

I needed my family a little closer today. I invited the girls over for breakfast, and I picked them up on the way home from King Soopers. We made blueberry pancakes and let the silliness of that baby cheer us up. It worked. She is magic. Combine her with her giant puppy, and the evils of the world melt away. I am refreshed.

Tonight was supposed to be the final installment in the Lord of the Rings viewing next door. But T bought the extended editions of the trilogy, and we watched disc one of The Return of the King. He loaded the second disc, and paused it to see how much movie was left to go. He thought it would be at most an hour and a half. I imagined it would be maybe 45 minutes. We were both wrong. It was 2 hours 15 minutes. So we called it a night, and will finish some other time. And then we tried to imagine sitting in a theater for a four hour movie. Maybe I could have handled that in my teen years. Not a chance I could do that now.

Boulder

Inspirational song: My Hometown (Charlie Robison)

A disappointing showing in the second round of the NCAA tournament ought to have been my story about Boulder tonight. I wish it were so. I mean, I am not happy about the loss, but it pales in comparison to the developing story of a shooter at the Table Mesa King Soopers. These things keep getting closer and closer to home, and I may need some time to process this. 

When I lived in North Charleston, there was a death from a traffic stop where a cop tried to plant a gun, and a mass shooting at a church, that second one just a few days before I moved away. The list of mass shootings in the greater Denver metro area is extensive, dating back to Columbine, which happened the week we went back to Colorado from Fayetteville, to a friend's wedding. It has become impossible now to "otherize" these incidents when they keep creeping closer to one's backyard. 

I'm writing early tonight, because I have an 8 am doctor visit. As of now, the police are just now announcing the number of fatalities, and it's as bad as we feared. The early sketchy details warned us the news was going to be bad, just by how little they were willing to say.

This is affecting my family members pretty hard too. I don't think the Mr and I still have friends living in that specific part of Boulder, but other people in my family do. It is very close to our last residence before we started our air force journey, two stoplights north of there. I used to go to that King Soopers a lot, but I haven't been there in about two years. The photo I will use tonight is from when I lived nearby last. It was taken about one mile from the scene.

My heart is breaking for you, Boulder.

Forward Steps

Inspirational song: Don't Stand So Close to Me (The Police)

At school today, Saoirse struggled with the same thing she always does -- not being able to focus in crowds. That was even the main lesson for today. We were sent into the store, with instructions to walk the aisles and get our dogs to stop and sit and pay attention to us when we got near people. Saoirse didn't cooperate once. She isn't aggressive or jumpy with people or other dogs, but she has no respect for personal space. When she sees a human, her nose seizes control from her brain, and she goes right in. We have a lot of practicing to do this week.

When we were supposed to be heeling through the crowded front part of the store, she saw a dad and two kids. One was a four or five year old, and one was barely over a year. They had wispy, curly hair and a distinct interest in meeting Saoirse. It is possible that puppy thought she was meeting her own baby, and I had to use the usual correction, not usually uttered in public. "Don't lick the baby!"

Watching that cute little kid toddle around was a glimpse into the near future. Valerie is so good at getting around on two legs, even though she has yet to take a step without holding on. Her mommy sent pictures this afternoon that were so cute I literally squealed. She looks so grown up and very much a part of her world, not merely an observer. Just try not to smile looking at these pictures. It's not possible.

Upsets

Inspirational song: Mad (Marillion)

With absolute certainty, I can say I will not be winning any bracket challenges. Wow. What a first round that was. I waited for the shocking finish of the Texas-Abilene Christian game to start writing, and I'm still reeling at how exciting it was, for a game I had no skin in. For all those people swearing my Buffaloes would be on the wrong side of a 12-5 upset, I say "Bite me." Or less polite words to that effect. They won 96-73, and are moving on to face Florida State in the next round on Sunday. As of writing, the time has not been posted on the bracket I checked. Fingers crossed that it isn't during the same time as Saoirse's class around lunchtime.

Now that all five or six of my brackets are thoroughly in the trash, I'm ready to switch from hoping I win a prize against more than a million folks who paid closer attention all season than I did, to cheering for utter chaos. Upsets and surprise finishes are exciting. The chaos is the best part of this tournament. I am torn between wanting all the kids to be safe and fine, and wanting to see another team suddenly eliminated with a positive test like the reigning champs Virginia were today. Bring on the madness!

Has it really been only ten years since I started enjoying this game? I missed out on a lot of fun. Making up for it now, though.

Not Throwing Away

Inspirational song: My Shot (Hamilton)

At the vaccine-cafeteria in Fort Collins, they had their routine down pat. You go in the main entrance, get your temp taken, directed to the elevator that only goes to the basement, wait in the line that winds halfway down the hall, and show the hospital employees your QR code from checking in on the patient portal app (which I did from the parking lot). The line moved quickly, and in just a few minutes I was in the meeting room off of the cafeteria, getting my first dose of Pfizer. Easy-peasy! I drove home in a giddy haze, feeling more hungry than I have in a year. (Why hungry? I don't know.) I did really well all day, until about five o'clock, when I went down for a nap that lasted over two hours. Am I having enough of an immune response for it to be working?

Today was my daughter's anniversary, so we went back to the country road where we paused to take photos with the mountains as a backdrop on the way back from their courthouse wedding two years ago. This time, it wasn't just the newlyweds. It was the baby-makes-three version of the family. The safe bet is to assume there will be more photo shoots from this same spot in years to come.

For the record, of the five or so brackets I made, not once did I imagine Oral Robert's University would beat Ohio State. Never crossed my mind. I will not beat the one in several quadrillion odds to have a perfect bracket. Ah, well.

Bumper Car

Inspirational song: Going Mobile (The Who)

Toddler energy is boundless energy. There is a reason raising children is a sport for young people. Younger than me, anyway. It's fun having that baby all afternoon and evening, but it takes a toll on a grandmotherly body. 

The new advancements appear to include rudimentary singing. I can't quite explain what the difference is, but she was for sure singing a kind of rhythm and lyrics, without being able to actually repeat the real words. She also has learned to love blowing razzberries and spit bubbles, and growling. It's cute as all getout, but a bit on the messy side. 

I set her in her walker chair, and put it on the hard tile, off the carpet. From there it was off to the races. She did laps of the house, getting very frustrated when she would bang into something that stopped her, but half the time she performed competent three-point turns to get moving again. If this kid isn't running unaided by her first birthday, I will eat my hat.

A final bit of excellent news: while I was holding the baby, trying to keep my phone out of reach, I saw the little red app notification from UCHealth come up. It was my 48-hour window to make an appointment for the vaccine. I didn't expect it to be so soon, but they had a whole bunch open for tomorrow morning. Naturally I jumped at the chance. I have to drive up to Fort Collins to get it, but it's not like I don't know the way there. (That's where my brokerage office is.) I'm getting vaccinated! Hooray!

Get Lucky

Inspirational song: Ziggy Stardust (David Bowie)

Our baby is ten months old as of today. She continues to be the most amazing human we could possibly want to be around. We girls went shopping for a few basic items this morning (and to get Shamrock Shakes on the way home -- don't tell) and I spent the whole time being overwhelmed by the glory that is my Grump. I realize at the end of the day that the best shots of her were all videos, but there are at least a couple of good stills.

We had a St Patrick's dinner with T&A next door, and played Mario games and watched a movie. We were there late enough that the old man I live with fell asleep on the couch halfway through Mars Attacks. It has been so long since time was measured by 40-hour, M-F workweeks that this kind of entertainment seems normal now. I can't imagine going back to the rigid structure anymore. We have plans to watch basketball over there, T and I, and he is going to work remotely from his couch. This is how it should be, whenever possible.

I feel like I have waited until the very last minute to fill out my tournament brackets. I did them on four or five websites, every one I could think of to search on. Some allowed me to fill out more than one. I hope I didn't have to choose which brackets are meant as entries into whatever contests I was trying to get in. I don't remember doing that. I also didn't put a whole lot of brain energy into my choices. This year is going to be so wild, with the instant elimination rule for a single positive covid test, there is no way to know who will make it all the way. I did choose Illinois to win it all in almost every variation. Not sure why, but it seemed easier to remember. Just you watch -- someone on that team will test positive by Saturday. I made one really wild bracket where my Buffaloes made it all the way to the Final Four. I mean, I had to dream a little, right?

Worth It

Inspirational song: Kashmir (Led Zeppelin)

As predicted, I was able to nod off pretty easily last night. I only wish I had been left alone to sleep the whole night through. It is so not cool to wake up already needing a nap. It's even more uncool not to be able to get one.

My quarterly check-in with the oncologist went swimmingly. Some good back and forth, and clear suggestions about what to do over the next quarter. And she is so on top of things, she even got the imaging center to call and schedule my next mammogram, not due until June. I'm all set.

My Grumpus showed up halfway through Rotary. She made some cute faces at my camera, even though the person giving our presentation was sharing her screen, so we were probably not very visible. She was active, as she so often is, and was super interactive. It is not advisable to ignore a kod like that. She can get anywhere in a flash. No telling what she would get into given half a chance. Her "language" is starting to feel more deliberate, and her jokes more elaborate. I have a feeling one day soon we will be having actual conversations in English, and it will feel like it came out of nowhere. She had one significant cranky moment, and it was immediately followed by a nap, sacked out on my chest for 45 minutes. Snuggles like that are totally worth the momentary tantrums that proceed them.