One would think that as bad as my 2016 has been, I would be bitter and cranky at Thanksgiving rather than grateful. Not the case, not at all. I have had a rather wonderful day, and had several opportunities to look around me and consider myself quite lucky indeed. My basic needs are covered. I have a solid, safe home. I am well-fed. I have a large family who love me and who are assured that I love them. I have health insurance that pays for regular visits to two doctors who know enough about me personally to provide comprehensive care for my abundance of medical issues. I am able to appreciate art and beauty in the natural world and in the world created by humans. I have a platform from which to exercise my voice, and people who are interested enough to listen to me and give my writing a fair evaluation. And through the most difficult few years of my life, I am still able to laugh and forgive and find true joy. I am absolutely grateful for all of this.
Once upon a time I thought I wanted money. I thought lots and lots of money would solve so many of my problems, and compensate for deficiencies I perceived in my level of love, respect, safety, power, whatever. Even in my lottery fantasies, I imagined I'd get a large pile of seed money, and turn it into an empire with me as the CEO. I'd run lucrative businesses, change the world with technology, start a foundation providing scholarships to thousands of college students, and feel good about myself. I'd be famous and important. I'm not sure when that dream went away, but it is the furthest thing from what I want now. (Except the notion that I could provide college scholarships--I still think that would be cool.) I have hit a point in my life where I don't need stuff, and I don't need more money than I could ever spend in order to get stuff that I no longer want to acquire. There are still things I think are neat, that I enjoy obtaining, but they're little things. There's a big difference between having a little addiction to cheap, solid color, ladies cut t-shirts and thinking that if I don't make enough money to buy a new car every other year I won't be happy. I also don't crave that sort of power or influence anymore. I am much more content to live a slower life, and I do not intend to speed it up again if I can avoid it.
Thanksgiving with the in-laws was a renewing experience. The food was wonderful (and enough of us are now gluten-free that I was able to eat almost everything!). The wine flowed freely, which in itself represents a sea change from the teetotaler holidays of years past. All of the kids have grown up into impressive adults, and they give me hope for our future. (One niece in particular gave me specific hope, listening to her insider talk about the sausage-making level of government, and how the non-political crew will do what they've always done to keep the country going. And that's all the politics I will mention for today.) I promised I would report on the "saw it on Facebook" recipe I tried this week. The custard baked into a pumpkin shell was interesting. The pumpkin was a little stringier than I expected. I thought it was a pie pumpkin (or sugar pumpkin, as some call them), but it appeared to have just been a smaller version of your standard jack o'lantern variety. The custard was good, but how do you go wrong with just eggs, cream, sugar, and spices? I might buy a tiny pie pumpkin and try one more time to verify my results. It was definitely the most unique dish I could have brought. I suggested to the family that it was apropos for such an oddity to come from me.
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