For all that social media has wrecked about modern life, there are aspects of being "extremely online" that are incredible national bonding moments. There was that time, back in the olden times on Twitter, that tens of thousands of us were deeply invested in waiting to hear that a tiny, three-legged kitten had finally pooped before he exploded. (Man, I miss reading about Bitty, but not enough to go back to Twitter to find out whether his human still posts about him.) Today was a special moment frozen in time, while a nation was enthralled in a cross-platform mystery, with people on TikTok, Instagram, and Threads (maybe more?) waiting for updates from a woman who found a rolled-up rug buried two feet deep in her yard. She did just enough exploratory digging to decide she needed to call in the authorities. A crew from Homicide showed up and taped off her yard. They put up a tent and brought out an excavator. And then, a day into this drama, we all heard that no, there was no body buried in that rug. It was a little anticlimactic, until I learned that while she got extra attention today, some slimeball hacked her TikTok account and robbed her. So I suppose we ride at dawn?
I couldn't stay home today. I had planned to, but by the time lunchtime rolled around, I was itching to go look at stuff. My daughter had too much to do at her house to be my partner in crime, so I did the next best thing. I stole her little girl. We spent hours together, getting Orange Julius, shopping at Magic Fairy for pretty rocks (I got a carnelian, she got a rose quartz heart). We tried the Spirit Halloween for the crow or raven decor I have been trying desperately to find. It was underwhelming. We tried Michael's instead, and for once, I had enough options I needed to choose between them. There was a resin crow with his wings out a little bit, one foot gripping a roughly-sculpted eyeball. Then I saw one that was a crow with wings tucked, bent down, and a battery-operated candle emerging from his back. Valerie got to choose, and she chose the candle. I think it was the right way to go.
I tried to go through the pharmacy drive through from there, but the line was long and not moving. I looked in the rear view mirror, and Valerie was sacked out. I ducked out of the Walgreens line and took her home. Her mommy had made dinner for us all, which was a great way to close out a fun day with my best girl. Dmitri sat on my lap while we watched a movie and ate dinner, so I ended up wearing quite a bit of rice, beef, and peppers, but it was worth it.
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