(Out of) Control Freak

Inspirational song: Separated Out (Marillion)

I came home from running errands just now. I found the tiny baby staring at me from the couch, and I greeted her as Athena Smith. I chanted at her the creepy monotone line from the old movie Freaks, "One of us, one of us, we accept her, we accept her." When they told me on Wednesday that she was positive for FIV, I knew that her chances of being adopted by anyone else were just too slim, although I took a couple days to come to peace with the inevitability of me being the one who could and would do it. I struggled a little. I accepted the mantle of crazy cat lady years ago, but it never felt out of control until this week. Getting to this point feels very limiting, particularly in terms of travel, both for vacation pet sitters, and for logistics for the next time we move and select a living situation. I should feel happier on a day like this, but instead I'm feeling swamped, almost shameful.

But for all that I felt like a freak today, I suspect I'm a little more in control than the woman who was at the shelter while I was there. She was filling out paperwork for one kitten to be adopted that day. Another woman came in with two she had just adopted Wednesday, and her landlord made her take them back and surrender them again. The first woman said she wanted both of them as well. They had a 24 hour hold period, but she can pick them up tomorrow. Then a third person came in with a kitten she found. She said that he was sick, but didn't explain how (his appearance was fine). Lady number one took him from the girl's hands, and he was never even processed as a surrender. All I could think was that I hoped this woman had a farm. Otherwise, I might expect to see her show up on television as an animal hoarder.

Three days of amoxicillin has turned Athena into an entirely different kitten. Now that her eyes are no longer weepy, she has discovered the most important thing about kittens: they are made of rubber. She is bouncing around the house like she finally got a full battery charge. This makes it difficult to capture a decent picture. And it is too oppressively humid to go take pictures outside. I'll double up on pictures tomorrow.