Hang in There, Baby

Inspirational song: Now Wash Your Hands (Marillion)

I'm caught between several worlds tonight. For the most part, I'm in a very calm, happy place. I had a terrific day out with one of my girlfriends who I haven't gotten to see much over the last year or so. Spending the day together felt like a healing salve. She and I are very different in many respects (especially politically), but even in this ridiculously polarized time we live in, we are able to find the overlaps, and respect our differences. A lot of people in power could learn from our example. And it is so cathartic to be out with someone who lets me swear as foully as I can, in every other sentence, for absolutely no reason at all. As much as my monthly massages relax my muscular system, a pleasant, potty-mouthed lunch and trip through Whole Foods soothed my soul. We planned the shopping perfectly, doing a loop around the store, and arriving at the personal care section last. It looks like free aromatherapy on the surface, opening and sniffing every tube of lotion, bottle of soap, or tiny vial of essential oil. It's not free. I walked out of there with incense, gluten free lotion and toothpaste, honeysuckle dish soap, and an intoxicating hand soap in that geranium scent I have been trying to pinpoint every time I was in a Whole Foods over the last three or four years. There is only one item in that group that was on my original shopping list. But free with purchase, I came out of there relaxed and happy.

As nice as my day was, and as sweetly as I have glided along on a great dinner and large glass of red wine, my topics of discussion this evening to a sharp turn into less pleasant prospects for the future. I'm worried about some folks, and I am stuck in a place where I can't tell them how I feel. I have one person whose health is teetering on the edge of a dismal diagnosis, and as much as I want to help, I don't think she's in a position to take my well-meaning advice. The best I can do is just listen and nod in commiseration. And there is someone else whose circumstances are worrying several of us. I may be in a position to help in the future, but I am months away from being able to provide any practical help right now. It is so frustrating, knowing I can't do anything right now, not even offer hope for the months to come. It ties me in knots, wondering whether I have the luxury of time to wait. Whatever you do--prayer, send vibes, think happy thoughts--I could use them in this situation.