I was supposed to apply myself to important tasks today. I wanted to spend hours writing that story I've had in the wings, and I need to clean my guest room before my daughter arrives. Does anyone ever really want to go back to reality after a holiday? I didn't. I don't think I ever have. But that's beside the point. I looked at my life, and decided I wasn't ready to get back to it. All I cared about was feeling warm again, and for the first time this year, I couldn't accomplish it. Most of my body was chilled more than usual, and even my hot flashes were few and far between today. Even now, my face is cool to the touch. But what is really hurting me is how cold my hands are. I feel like I'm outside in sub-zero temps with wet gloves on. I've tried rubbing my hands and forearms to improve circulation. I sat in the hot tub for half an hour. I've worn warm clothes and blankets most of the day. But the feeling of being outside in Siberia in January just won't go away. In July, being this cold sounded like heaven. As we so often quote from Strange Brew (the Bob and Doug McKenzie movie), "...this isn't heaven, this sucks!"
Surely I won't have much more than a week of this. If it's still happening a week from now, I have my regular visit with the rheumatologist. Two days after that, I have my regular visit with Slow Hand. I At most I have to deal with a week of zero circulation. It might make getting comfortable interesting for a while, but I'm not going to let that bother me. I can sleep through up to a third of it. I'll find ways to distract me for the rest.
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