I've had a twitch under my right eye for days. It's completely stress-induced. I am starting to collapse in on myself, or at least I feel like the world is collapsing in on me. We have taken a hard look at our timeline, inspired by loan officers telling us the ginormous wad of cash we are going to have following the sale of the condo is not enough for them to give us a new loan now, and we are making some adjustments. They aren't accepting "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" as collateral these days, after the housing crash and subsequent wrenching down on mortgage lending. Faced with the need to get the Park on the market sooner than later, our schedule has moved to the left by several weeks. I am not emotionally ready for this, but I have no choice. All that stress and labor to get the condo ready to sell was just a warm-up for the serious work to come.
I took the jungle route home from buying a new pair of glasses, the one that goes through yellow-flag land, past all the old plantations that are open to the public. While the Bonfire leader says she loves driving down that road because she enjoys driving fast on it, I had the opposite reaction today. The overhang of Spanish moss and poison ivy-draped trees gave me tunnel vision, and every time a raindrop hit my car, I flinched. My eye twitched incessantly, and my blood pressure was super high. It was all I could do to drive 50 miles an hour on that road, much to the annoyance of everyone behind me. I needed something to bleed off the pressure in the lines before I blew a gasket. Lucky for me, tonight was the Bonfire leader's birthday party, and I had several hours of flowing wine and happy friends to push my cares to the back seat. The muscles in my eye even relaxed for a couple hours, while I floated in warm water and let the conversation go off without me. But then, by the end of the night, I started talking about the move again, and started thinking about how little time I have left with the cool kids, and damn if my eye didn't start spasming again.
I made time for power cuddling with my favorite boyfriend, the one who is about a foot tall and covered in long, soft fur. Athena hates it when I cheat on her with Mr Kitty, but he's the only cat in Bonfire Gardens. He needs his auntie the crazy cat lady to give him extra attention. Every time I'm with them lately, I beg the Bonfire gang to come visit me after we leave here. Maybe I can convince them to bring Mr Kitty along to spend holidays with his favorite auntie. I know he will miss me as much as I will miss him.
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