Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away

Inspirational song: Missed Me (Dresden Dolls)

I can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something. I keep checking the calendar in my phone, but there's nothing jumping out at me. I stand in doorways, staring into rooms, hoping that something will trigger a memory of what is just out of reach of my consciousness, but so far I have failed to bring anything to mind. It's anxiety-inducing, this feeling of forgetting something important. I'm worried that it's a bill or an appointment. I know my home owners association bill is due this month, but there must be something bigger than that lurking out there to leave me with this sense of dread.

I felt trapped inside for half the day today, or at least I felt like the deck was off limits. Despite our rude introduction, I've come to terms with Carlotta the Seven-Legged Spider. She stays off to the side, against the windows (where I hear occasional thumps at night - what exactly does she catch?), out of the way of me getting in and out of the house. This morning, as I let the dogs out, I was surprised by a new spider, about half the size of Carlotta (so still larger than any other species of spider here). She strung her web across the doorframe, and was camped out directly in line of my nose. If I had been in the habit of walking outside with the dogs in the morning, bleary-eyed on first waking, I would have had two and a half inches of angry golden orb weaver touching my screaming mouth. I kept telling her she had to move all day, and I even swiped at the bottom of her web with a broom a few times, hoping she would get the hint and move it up and out of my way. She was the most obstinate little thing, and when I pushed her to the edge of the doorway, she stayed there, acting like she was ready to rebuild as soon as I turned my back. I needed basil for my dinner, and couldn't wait any longer. I used the broom to move her completely off the doorframe, and I watched with trepidation as she angrily stomped off toward the patio table. I really hope she's not the vindictive type. I don't think I've seen the last of her.