Thursday, July 17, 2014

Make Me Pretty

Inspirational song: Eat It (Weird Al Yankovic)

I took another trip back to the test kitchen today. I've been successfully inventing unique dishes for my family for many years, and as I kick around the idea of compiling all my best recipes into one tidy location, I have to go back to my old standbys and clean them up a bit. Several of the ones my kids and the man requested most were perfected during my wheat-consuming years. I was also a lot less careful about my ingredients when I both didn't know and couldn't afford better. Now, with no one to please but myself, I'm revisiting my creations and making changes.

Every time we get together with the kids, my younger daughter asks for me to cook the old favorites for her, even when it means me trying to cook in her tiny (messy) condo kitchen. One of the things she requests most is one of the first recipes I invented for my young family. Back when the girls were toddlers, celebrity chefs were thin on the ground. There was Julia Child ("the French Chef"), Graham Kerr ("the Galloping Gourmet"), and only a few others that any of us knew. I spent a lot of time watching Jeff Smith, "the Frugal Gourmet." I suppose that was apropos, since frugality was key back then. I clearly remember watching an episode where he raved about Eastern European flavors, heavy with paprika and allspice. I couldn't tell you what dishes he actually made with them, but I know exactly what I was inspired to create, based on what I could find in the kitchen that day. For twenty years, it has been known in my family by its acronym: "CTM." I didn't know what to call it, so as I handed over the plates that first day, I said it was "chicken, tomato, mozzarella...stuff." It wasn't pretty, but it tasted amazing. I made it once where several of our friends could see me handing it to the man, and our old roommate from college laughed and said it looked like he had thrown up. I've had a complex about it ever since. I have tried and tried, but I cannot make it look pretty. It really looks revolting. And it's one of the best things I've ever created.

I'm sure a few of you are curious, so I will share the recipe. If you find a way to make it beautiful, without actually changing the integrity of the dish, feel free to send me pictures.

CTM

Over medium-low heat, soften diced onion in olive oil that is liberally sprinkled with sesame oil. Add in boneless chicken (cuts of your choice, whole or cut up, I use breasts or tenders), and lightly brown on all sides. With a heavy hand, cover them with paprika and allspice, and stir while the spices warm in the oil. Add herbs (dried or fresh - lots of marjoram, and basil, oregano, rosemary, and/or thyme if you like them) and fresh or powdered garlic. Salt if you want (I invariably do). Add lots of roma tomatoes - I cut them over the pan, so that none of the juice inside is lost on a cutting board. Simmer this until the chicken is cooked through and the tomatoes are very soft. Cut the heat and add slices or hunks of mozzarella cheese (depending on the effect you want), and let it melt. Stirring it through is acceptable, but that's part of what makes it such an ugly dish. Back in the day, I would serve this over a pile of egg noodles, the only pasta I ever really loved. Today, I tried it over a corn-quinoa elbow pasta that was incredibly unsatisfying. I need to think of a different carb to try. Rice sounds gross with it. So does potato. What's left? Gluten free bread? Maybe.

And there you have it. Born of poverty and basic cable television, the greatest tasting, grossest looking meal I ever made. My Smith family legend. My older daughter spices it up a bit, and my younger daughter just waits for me to show up and make it. My man has never, ever, not once complained about having it handed to him. Give it a try. Tell me what you think.

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