After a little inner debate, I reminded myself that three years ago I threw open the book of my life, and it might do someone some good if I continue being so truthful about what's going on. So with that in mind, I will announce that Greg House was wrong when he insisted (throughout the entire television series) that "It's never lupus." This time, for this woman, it's lupus.
I really don't know what it was that I said in that very first meeting with the new doctor that triggered in her mind that we needed to be looking for autoimmune diseases. But somewhere in those fourteen vials of blood she had me spill were markers that changed my future, and explained an awful lot of my past. I have to have a couple more tests run next week, to get a specific measurement on ANA (anti-nuclear antibodies), because apparently "positive" wasn't enough. Now, to my untrained eye, when I see just a little down the page a section spelling out the ANA panel, I assumed that these were the details she needed. But who am I? What do I know? Perhaps she just needs a few things re-run to confirm them. I do find it amusing that the marker that is more than six times the top of the reference range is the ironically-named "Smith antibodies."
I really knew nothing about this disease before Wednesday night, other than it was the running gag on House. When I googled what Smith antibodies were that night, that was the first moment I ever imagined that I would ever need to know what it is. I was in denial all night, barely sleeping at all the whole night, tossing and turning and having conversations with my past self and past doctors in my mind. Yesterday I had calmed myself down a little, prepared to wait until the doctor told me anything, and willing to assume all I had was Webmditis. I still have much to learn after the doctor confirmed it and explained in detail what she wanted me to do. Since then, I've spent all of today flipping through the pages of my life, saying things like, "Oh. Well that explains why I always complained of 'sun poisoning' any time I stayed outside too long." And all those years I swore that there had to be something deeper causing me to gain weight no matter what I did, no matter the diet or exercise plan, it turns around I was right. Whether the immunosuppressants I'll be taking will turn that trend around or not remains to be seen.
I got a long list of instructions printed out on how I need to change with this diagnosis. Some of it will be easy, some nigh on impossible. I can handle avoiding fluorescent light. Already changed every light in the house to LED. I'm supposed to wear long sleeves and pants outside, with hats, sunglasses, and sunscreen. I'm not that wild about sunscreen, but I see the point. I'm even to wear primarily cool colors, like purple, gray, and indigo. How convenient that these colors work well for me. I look great in electric blue. I'm fine with the part of the diet that aligns closely with a Paleo/Wheat Belly philosophy, but I don't know how well I will comply with a "tree-free" diet. No apples, oranges, avocados, tree nuts, or anything that even has tree rings like garlic and onions? Not sure life would be worth living. It's a good thing I learned to like chicken again, and that I really love lettuce, spinach, and kale. Otherwise, I wouldn't have much to eat left.
Now, don't be a hater, but I have written instructions from my doctor to take a 30-40 minute nap EVERY DAY, to get regular massages, and spend as much time in a hot tub against water jets as I can. I have a prescription to nap!
I donned a hat and purple zip-up hoodie, and hung out in the back yard while Mr S-P started building the raised beds for our new garden. I'm surprised that just the addition of the hat made it less unpleasant already. We are already starting to think ahead to what we will plant, and I'm glad I'd already made arrangements to grow a whole lot more leafy greens this year. It's about all I'm going to be allowed to have. That, and some tomatoes and peppers maybe. Surely squashes don't have lignin in them, so I can eat those, right? Anyway, the garden prep is a whole lot of hard work, but it already has such a great beginning. I just hope I'll be allowed to be in it during the day time.
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