I am starting to have a whole lot of "Norm!" moments. There are several places around town where I can walk in now, and I am instantly recognized and greeted with welcoming smiles and sincere inquiries about my health, family, or work. I can't tell you how incredible this feels, after having lived twenty years as a nomad, never staying in one town long enough to develop these sorts of relationships, or at least not very many of them, and not for long. I got close a few times when we lived on base or I spent enough time on the bases that the small military communities got to know me, but either we ended up leaving soon after I reached that level of familiarity, or the people who knew me were transferred out. I missed the closeness of living in a "who's yer mama" kind of town. In my old hometown, nearly everyone knew me or my family. They remembered my grandmother fondly even years after she died, or my grandfather was their dentist, or my mother sold them ads for the newspaper, or they dated my brother, and so on. I'm not kidding, I liked that small town pseudo-celebrity feel.
Walking into Rotary today felt like I had crossed that sort of threshold. The first person to make eye contact was a former mayor, and she smiled sweetly and waved from across the room. I was greeted by a dozen people before I even had my coat off. I mentioned to the man who takes the dues that I hadn't gotten my email saying payment was due, and he didn't have to be reminded of my name and email to resend it. People now ask me specific questions about details of my life that prove they are paying attention. It feels amazing. A year ago I was feeling so small and isolated. Now I feel like I have a home. I have said before that I moved to this town in my mind in about 2010. There was a house for sale that was in desperate need of a gut and renovation, and I wanted to buy it and take on the job. It didn't work out for me to do it, and it's probably okay, now that I understand how major of a street that house was on. But that spark was the impetus for me to work so hard to move here and make it my new hometown.
Even writers group felt suddenly "more" tonight. More smiles, more hellos, more welcomes. I was the second to last to arrive, and I felt like they had waited for me to start. Even if they hadn't, it felt so convivial that they might as well have done. We have been in this town right around a year and a half. In the old pattern, by now my friends would be telling me where they were going in to be after May or June, and I would be preparing to lose them and at the same time hoping for a good crop of new faces to come in the fall. Now I have the opportunity to develop friendships that will last the rest of my life, ones that won't turn into long-distance relationships that make my heart ache. Over the decades as a nomad, I made dear friends, but they all live in different states now. Well, almost all. I did get lucky and have one move close when his similar nomadic life slowed down. I wish I could convince more of them to put themselves within reach. It sure is nice getting to see familiar faces every few days.
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