This has not been my week. Things that should go smoothly, without a hitch, are ending up being challenging and frustrating. I'm watching my shrubbery get bruised and broken by a roofing project. I'm getting calls from my man who tells me he is going to be gone much longer than we planned. And I have had to resort to pain medication to make it until Monday when I can see a regular doctor in my group, rather than the ER (which is still not off the table if things deteriorate overnight). I want this week to hurry up and end. I don't have to have the best week of my life every week, but I have got to do better than this. Last night, I gave in to a flight of fancy, and bought a lottery ticket before I left the grocery store. There was an older lady crowding the desk, doing her scratch off tickets where she wasn't technically supposed to be doing them. As I approached, she revealed a ticket that won on every available slot, at least five dollars in each window. From her appearance, I guessed that she really needed the boost of cash. She was beaming, and she reached out and nudged my elbow as I made my purchase, wanting a smile in return at her good fortune, and I gave it. As I walked to my car, I let myself imagine that her luck rubbed off on me. But I was not so lucky. My ticket only matched one number, and ended up in the trash. And my luck only went downhill from there.
I slept hard last night, and needed it. I woke after eight, and saw the roofers drive up and get out of their truck. I pulled on a sweater over my jammies, in case I had to answer the door, and then climbed back in to bed. I wasn't awake enough to care about anything else. I heard a little thumping on the roof as I fell back into my infection-fighting sleep. I woke hours later, to the sound of rain coming down in sheets on my not-finished roof. The crew had been there long enough to spread tarps and then they left, I guess. The tarps blew around a little in the storm that rolled over us, and they exposed the tar paper in several places. I really don't know I feel about that. My head is too foggy for me to think through how porous the tar paper is, and how much water must have worked its way to the decking. A friend of mine came over today, and saw all the debris still stuck in my trees, and all the broken shrubs, and she said she had none of these problems when her roof was done. Her entire project was over in two days, and no bushes were harmed in the process.
I have done a lot of public whining the last few days. I think I need to knock it off. My mother told me I need to back off of focusing on stress and start remembering how good I really have it. She's right. I am in a good place, and I can't let a few minor setbacks get me down. I'm going to be fine, and so is my Park. I'm going to let all this negativity roll right off of me, like rain from a duck's back.
No comments:
Post a Comment