My daughters are radically different. I've mentioned this before. My older daughter has always been a natural leader (which often gets her in trouble), and she was ambitious from an early age. When she was seven, she used to tell me her life goals were to finish high school and then save the world. The only flash of doubt she ever had, was to suggest maybe she should learn to do hair and makeup, in case she couldn't hack it as the scientist she knew she was destined to be. Never for a moment did I think she needed a backup plan. And although she does great hair and makeup, it is true, she knows her stuff when it comes to anthropology. Now if she can just convince an HR person somewhere to read her resume, she will be set.
I can't say I never worried about my baby, though. Somewhere around fourth grade, her interest in school went a little sideways. They used to say that some kids thought outside the box, but she had no idea the box existed in the first place. On those days when I sat with her and made her do her homework, so I knew she had it done, she would just refuse to turn the pages in. I never understood where the resistance originated, and for a while I wondered whether she would make it past eighth grade, much less finish high school. She became emotionally vulnerable in a way I wasn't prepared to deal with, being the first to cry or quit the room during the same family arguments where her sister turned into a bulldog, tenaciously hanging on to make her point at any cost. For all of the challenge she presented, somewhere in her late teens, just as suddenly as she went in, she emerged on the other side of her sideways skid, stronger and more perceptive than we ever expected. She had found herself in her art, and she has continued to grow and develop her voice through her drawing and writing. She has even begun blogging, after I set the example, although she has a few days where the distractions of being a twenty-something in the computer age get in the way of being an essayist.
Right before the floods hit last fall, she had enough of living on the cruel whims of a tipping wage, and quit her job as a waitress. As the flood waters receded, she started working at an assisted living facility, working very closely with people in the fading light of life. Her writing has changed dramatically from complaints about working in a chain restaurant, to incredibly perceptive insights to the human character when facing the end. Several times we have tearfully read the things she has said about the residents, both the ones who are charming to her and the ones who are cranky, and we are glad that they all have someone as loving and forgiving as she to take care of them.
She has been one of my biggest supporters as I find my own voice. I keep a "fan letter" she wrote as a joke on my fridge. It makes me smile every time I see it. Yesterday, as she was dealing with her own fiance leaving for a six month internship one state over, she talked about me and what she has learned from her father having to work so far away so often. She's still very young, and learning a lot about the world, but at the same time, she really gets it. She sees, and she understands, in ways most people never even dream of.
I don't post too many links on here. In fact, this might only be the second time. If you want to see what I mean about her writing, feel free to look her up.
http://attheendsofinfinity.blogspot.com/2014/02/dont-want-to-be-all-by-myself.html?m=1
No comments:
Post a Comment