My "procedure" is over. Round one down, and now I just wait for the surgeon's office to look over my results and schedule me a date with an OR. I know colonoscopies are fodder for comedians, like Robin Williams telling you that you will walk away sounding like an Evinrude outboard motor, or Dave Barry swearing that you need a seat belt to keep you from launching off of the toilet ahead of time, but I promise, it is not that bad. Let me repeat, for people who are afraid of growing older or getting sick like me and needing the screening, It Is Not That Bad. In fact, it's quick and relatively painless. The hardest part is choking down the nasty prep solution. After that, it's mostly boring. I brought my Kindle with me to the GI center to read while I waited, but once I had the IV in and all of the other diagnostic equipment hooked up across my arms and hands, I didn't feel like holding a tablet. I lay under a blanket, listening to the man play Plants vs Zombies, and I wished that I was comfortable enough to fall asleep while I waited. Once in the room for the procedure, I chatted cordially with the nurse and the anaesthesiologist for a few minutes while we waited for the doc, had a large syringe full of an opaque white fluid pushed into my IV, and I had less than three seconds from when she pulled the syringe back until my head was full of lead and I closed my eyes. I woke in the recovery room, with no more pain than I had when I left it. The doc said it looked better than last time, and he was glad that I went to the surgeon as he suggested. After that, I had a mildly uncomfortable ride home (but that's because I still have that smoldering diverticulitis, not because of anything done today), and then I went up to bed. I had all of the black and white cats smooshed up next to me, either keeping me (and them) warm, or ensuring that I wouldn't be so careless as to walk around while I was still slightly loopy. Not an exciting day, but I'm okay with boring when this was on my schedule.
I have felt cold all day, possibly because of fasting for two days, and I was pleased when the man decided to burn a couple bags full of the sycamore pods that are the bane of the Park. The turn into coals quickly, and when they are the only thing burning in the fireplace, the giant pile of them reminds me of a glowing mound of skulls that should be in an Indiana Jones movie. That, or maybe there is just a little of the sedative left in me, making me see the world around me in goofy ways. No, I will be honest with myself. I don't need sedation to make me goofy. I am really good at that on my own.
The full issue of the literary magazine came out today. If you didn't read my stories, now is a good time. The Seat is still featured on the main page (you mouse over the pictures that come up under "Words - Prose" to find it), or you can read the whole of Issue Two, which also has my very short horror story The Farm. It's at antvswhale.com.
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