Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Sensation Returning

Inspirational song: Peace Train (Cat Stevens)

I'm going to go out on a limb and theorize that a whole flexeril is more than my body can metabolize. I have never felt as out of it as I did last night, even taking into consideration how many times I have woken in the night (after surgeries) feeling like my painkillers were making my heart so tired it was just going to stop beating. I appreciated the extra distance that it put between me and those horrible spasms that cursed me for a week, but I don't think I will ever be taking a whole one again. I even decided that now the drain is gone, it is time to wean myself back to a single Percocet at a time. I'm a little less comfortable from the sternum down, but I feel a whole lot better from the neck up. I have begun to wonder whether drug induced sleep is really sleep at all, because I wake feeling so tired from it. Today, with far less in my system than I have had in a week, I slept more, for longer stretches, and I felt like I was finally accomplishing something. It was like drugged sleep just left me with a deficit that I had to work off today. 

I'm still not interested in a whole lot of activity, so I didn't leave the house today. Never even bothered with clothes. Much of the rest of the south enjoyed today as a snow day (more accurately, an ice day), but for me, I just sat at a different window where I could watch the slightly-above-freezing rain. Tomorrow is a big test. I'm going to see how well I fare at mah jongg, if we play on a card table where I can stretch out on a couch. Other than Monday's trip to the doctor, this is my first real excursion since the big event, and I'm quite looking forward to it. I felt cut off from the world for long enough, and it's time for me to put a timid little toe back in the water.

For years and years, the man and I have kept half an eye out for an electronic game that he and I can play head-to-head from our own computers. After endless failures, we might finally have stumbled upon a game we each like enough to make this a thing. It's a little battle game called Pocket Tanks, with retro-simple graphics and easy rules. It's only a few steps up from Pong in its complexity, but it is fun and addictive. Years ago, I used to like it when the man would serenade me to sleep with the sound effects and repetitive electronic tune, as he played three or four rounds of it right before lights out. It wasn't until he went away for a year and a half, and I missed my little Casio concerto, that I finally downloaded it and tried it myself. I never thought that each of us staring at our own little tablets, trying to blow each other up, would end up being such a bonding experience. It was quite a peaceful way to end the evening, actually.

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