The lesson for the day is no matter what the plan is, nor how many people believe they are on board with it, one person's impulsiveness or independent streak can blow it up every time. This was not the first time that my D&D group spent an entire night on a giant tangent, trying to rescue "Sally of the Fields" from some mischief that he got himself into, against all good advice from everyone in the rest of the party. For a game that is only played twice a month now, this eats into our progress in a big way. Now, don't get me wrong. I really like this player, and I think he is ridiculously creative and smart. He just has a hard time focusing on teamwork and mutually agreed upon goals. I can't tell you how many times we had to look him straight in the eyes and say, "Are you really going to do that? You do realize that you'll kill your own character, and probably take out mine too?" I can't believe my little gnome, who doesn't even weigh as much as the bags of dog food we buy, wasn't killed by Sally trying to find a way out of a tree, where he was trapped, with a spear sticking out of his side, the other end wedged in the tree branches. Gunda (me) had climbed up to try to free him, and he was suggesting that as soon as he was unstuck from the tree, he would transform into a replica of his pet ox. I had to remind him that we were both going to fall as soon as I pulled him loose, and the ox would crush me like stepping on a grape. Talk about a wild card. Eventually I got us both down alive, but only barely.
I found a creative form of self care, and just today recognized that this was what I was using it for. Months ago, the Mr borrowed my car for several weeks when he first started driving for Lyft, to see whether it was a lucrative venture while he was in between teaching gigs. I had offered the use of the car for a limited time, and eventually I had to get pushy about him getting a dedicated vehicle for it, so I could have my car back. Once I reclaimed it, I found that I was deeply grossed out by the thought of how many strangers' bodies had cycled through it. I felt slimy and icky driving it. So the first thing I did was run it through the car wash. Even though I had only done the outside that day, I noticed how much easier it was to breathe while sitting in the car.
Last month I signed up for the flat-rate car wash membership. I took the middle tier in the pricing structure, so for $17 a month, I can go through as often as I want, anytime they're open. (I assume they'll be closed when the weather is awful.) There are rows of always-on vacuum hoses, which are also unlimited use. Until today, I'd only gone through 3 times, which was enough to make my monthly payment worthwhile. I was coming home from lunch with a friend, feeling a little tired and my lunch wasn't settling on my stomach (the bbq was greasy). My car had a faint layer of dust and a few spots from the last time it sprinkled rain. So I went through the nearly deserted car wash on a whim. I was about halfway through when I felt my tension start to soothe. To be honest, if 17 bucks a month can give me that sort of pick-me-up any day I need it, and also keep my car tidy and ready for friends or clients to ride in it as a side effect, this is one of the greatest bargains I can imagine. I could be self-medicating with booze or drugs or sugary foods. I could do any number of more expensive or less effective activities. This one is so quick and easy. It made me feel so good, I didn't even care that it rained tonight, three hours after I ran through the car wash. Maybe I'll go through again tomorrow, to buff off the rain spots.
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