Needled

Inspirational song: I Hope That Something Better Comes Along (The Muppet Movie)

Knowing a large percentage of the hospital staff by sight (if not by name) is probably not a milestone I expected to reach this soon after moving to my current and hopefully final hometown. At lunchtime today I greeted the outpatient registrar warmly, saying “I’m back!” Now, she was already holding a sheet of labels each printed with my name, so testing how well she actually recognized me is impossible to verify. There are plenty of people who do know who I am and who I’m related to, for sure. They may not know me as well as my local pharmacists (whom I adore), but I’m comfortable at that hospital far more than one would think. It would kind of be nice to go back to total anonymity and unfamiliarity with the processes contained therein, but that’s not likely anytime soon.

Today’s biopsy, or more specifically fine needle aspiration, was quicker and easier than I expected, even knowing going in that it wouldn’t be a very big deal. There were a handful of people crowded into one exam room—me, ultrasound tech, IR doc, pathologist, and Mr S-P. They lined up the nodule on the screen, doc washed my neck with the orange stuff, popped in a little lidocaine, and we were off. They use a teeny needle to acquire just enough cells to fill the barrel of the needle (and they pounce it to fill it, which is an interesting experience), and the pathologist immediately transfers them to slides. I was warned that they could have to try as many as four times on the first go-round, and if they didn’t get a good sampling of cells when the pathologist looked them over, they might even go again, while my neck was already numb. They took three needles full, and the dude took the slides across the hall while we waited and chatted. We got the all clear, and they stuck a bandaid on my neck and sent me on my way.

I don’t know how long it will take to get the results. Originally my primary care doc’s assistant said it might be as soon as tomorrow. The ultrasound tech tempered expectations by saying three to six days. I went on the Sloan-Kettering website, and they said theirs could take up to two weeks. Holy moly, that sounds like a long wait! I’m still on the right side of the odds here though. Chances of this whole thing being manageable and easy greatly outweigh the bad stuff. So as long I keep myself distracted for the next few days, I ought to be able to carry on as usual. I doubt I’ll lose any sleep over this one. At least not from anything other than a little discomfort from the puncture wound in my neck.