Bananas

Inspirational song: Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani)

I feel like I've been here before. Days are starting to feel like they are in a familiar pattern, and all the players are being true to their parts. In some respects, this is a good thing. Just yesterday I was worrying that my moody, melancholy cat was losing her depth perception, but just a few minutes ago, she jumped back up into her classic perch, without missing a step. I didn't like seeing her mope around, and it left me feeling like things were just slightly askew. That's one detail back in place, one less thing to worry about. 

Other familiarities are less welcome. I just found that the professional eater dog has continued to take random items she finds in the house back to her landing bed, to eat or just destroy. Today it appears she had a hankering for paper towels. For all I know, she felt like she needed to tidy herself up after taking my empty yogurt cup from this morning, or some other messy item I have yet to discover is missing. And more predictably, I find myself once again with shaggy grass and dead flowers, as the drudgery of yardwork has drowned out the childlike joy I experience when it is time to start gardening in the spring. It is just too hot to completely cover up enough to combat the mosquitoes. I don't know why there are still so many. There are huge banana spiders everywhere out there, and little round orb weavers too. How can I have so many spiders, yet the mosquito population isn't going down at all? It hasn't been super rainy in weeks. I dont have any standing water outside. I never even assembled the water fountain, to avoid breeding them. Where are they all coming from? I got eaten alive when I watered today. I lasted about twenty minutes outside before I ran in for the calamine lotion.

The long monotony of living alone while the man is on assignment is hitting that hard stretch. He has been gone long enough that the independent spirit is dying off, and the quiet emptiness of the house is just no fun. The friends who all told him they'd keep an eye out for me while he was gone have mostly gotten wrapped up in their own lives, and I don't blame them. I'm not their responsibility. I will have the chance to visit with family in the upcoming weeks, although I have to do a fair bit of driving to accomplish that. It will help keep the loneliness at bay for a while, until the man finally gets some vacation time and comes back for a visit. Until then, I need to keep in the routine, keep reminding myself why it matters to keep trying every day. I tell you, though, sometimes this shit is bananas, as the girl says. I am already tired of being alone, and I have a lot more of the same coming up.