No matter how much I try to give myself positive affirmations, I am very easily deflated by the slightest things. I'm not sure what it will take before I feel confident of success in my writing. I get wonderful feedback from very kind people, but I am still needy, and I let myself watch the page views far too many times a day. It's a lot like being on a diet and weighing yourself two and three times a day. It's very counterproductive. I know I shouldn't let page views determine whether I am doing well. I am doing this for many other reasons than stats. But I still wonder what I can do to reach more people. Perhaps I'm just greedy.
The weather was beautiful almost all day, perfect for leaving the door open again. But the kids are so determined to be outside, even once it clouded over and started to sprinkle, that they are not going to be my friends tomorrow now that one last big cold front has come through. No open door policy tomorrow. I'm a little worried about the timing of this one, because it will be dry and cold for hours tomorrow morning. I pulled the orange geranium inside one more time. I've left it outside on nights it touched the freezing mark, but I don't want to test it again. I've lost too many tender plants in the last year. The plum tree is just starting to bloom. I think it will survive. I want to believe it. And there still are no forsythia blossoms. Soon.
I suppose my sudden low mood could be a result of the jaw pain that won't leave me alone. I have been trying to get through to the dentist, but I feel like my messages are being ignored. The internet and phone have failed to get me the attention I need. I think next I may have to go stand in their office and say, "My face hurts and I'm dizzy. Fix me." I wonder whether that would work. I'll try calling once more tomorrow morning, before I resort to that. Until then, I might have to cave in and find something to dull the pain. Whiskey might be in order.
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