The Business

Inspirational song: Celluloid Heroes (The Kinks)

I have always been a movie nerd. I immerse myself in them, absorb them, as much of a true believer as there ever was. I can remember clearly the first time I sat in theaters, seeing the good movies and the bad, the high art and the pop culture flicks. I remember where I sat the first time I saw Animal House, Young Frankenstein, Excalibur, E.T., and the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I remember who my dates were for About Last Night, Aliens, and Megamind. I got emotionally invested in Serenity, and watched the Sgt Pepper movie (yes, the one with the BeeGees) every time it was on HBO at two in the morning for a dozen years. I waited years to watch Schindler's List, because I knew I couldn't walk away from it unscathed. For that reason, I suspect I may never watch 12 Years a Slave. While I still used my desktop computer, I always kept IMDB as my home page, and I'm quick to whip out the IMDB app on my phone when I want to look something up, or to prove my bona fides in a discussion. One of my favorite games to play is "who is that actor? What else has he/she been in?" And when I play that with the man, I have said, "no, that's not Margot Kidder," more than anything else over the years. 

So how is it possible that I never tried to get into this business? I often wonder that. I studied film history in college, with some marvelous professors. When I saw one of them in the In Memorium reel at the Oscars, it warmed my heart to hear the roar of applause for Stan Brakhage. He was a far better filmmaker than that lecture hall of freshmen appreciated. If not as a commentator on film, then maybe I could have gone into the production side. While we had a costume design company, in that brief wink of time, I had delusions that we could costume for the movies someday. Obviously that never happened. I can still daydream about writing something screen worthy, but that would entail being able to declare a piece of my art finished. I'm still waiting for that.

People I know and love have chased the dream of being in this business. Two of my cousins moved to Hollywood, only to find how cruel the industry is. It took them years to remove themselves from the pit of despair, and come back to the rest of us in the real world. I have friends still plugging away at it. One of my favorite people of all time is still knocking on that door, but so far he is mostly cast in small parts as a member of some branch of law enforcement. His face flashed briefly across my television tonight, as he stared down Matthew McConaughey as a border patrol agent, in the best picture category montage. I hope he is happy, trying so hard to be a part of the business. It is a fickle industry. 

I don't really have photos of the Oscars to use to illustrate tonight. I can offer only pictures of my own A-listers, the stars of my blog. They're only too happy to pose for the human with the camera.