I thought I was being so totally sneaky. Almost a week ago, I dragged my daughter along to approve a new frame selection for the most recent glasses prescription, the one I'd been sitting on for almost three months because I a- kept forgetting and b- kept spending my money on other things. I didn't tell another single person in my family or friends group that I was getting them. I wanted to see whether anyone noticed. They came just in time for what was supposed to be regular Wednesday game night. But then people started dropping off of game night like flies. First my foster daughter had a commitment. Then my old college roommate had to work late. Then we asked the guys who live in other towns whether they still wanted to try to cobble together a group a little bit late, and eventually it devolved into a board game night with just four of us at our neighbor's house. The men I'm not related to didn't notice a thing was different about me. The Mr kept looking at me funny, like there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Eventually I just pouted to my neighbor that no one figured it out, and pointed at my face. He said, "oh, you got new glasses?" Maybe I shouldn't have expected a bunch of men who think of me as one of the guys to pick up on little details like that. It's on me, really.
I wore myself out so badly yesterday moving furniture around and doing a deep organizational cleaning that I could barely move at the end of the night. I took a cyclobenzaprine and did my best to sleep through the night. (The one time I got out of bed, I had to hold on to furniture and walls all the way to the bathroom and back. The world was all wobbly. Or maybe it was me. Probably me.) My plan was to get a great night's sleep and be recharged and loose by morning. There was just one problem with that plan: Me. All of me. I still made myself do normal things today, but I'm regretting it at the end of the day. (I don't mean that as the trite "at the end of the day" turn of phrase. I mean literally, it's almost midnight here as I write, as usual.) The next two days will be even harder. Tomorrow I am doing a volunteer project, and Friday will be another trip to the mountain. I am trying to delay the inevitable stay-in-bed-all-day day that is coming. I'm probably making it worse by putting it off. It's time to start practicing the word "no" again.
No comments:
Post a Comment