[Deep cleansing breath]
Okay, I think we’re gonna make it. After more than two months since our New Mexico tenant moved out, we finally got a nibble. Or rather, we got a haggle. But still, even coming down a tad on price (morethanatad) we should see enough to cover the mortgage. It’s not ideal, but assuming they did sign the lease as expected today, we will stop the hemorrhaging that defined the summer. I was well and truly tired of being stressed out. Just getting back to neutral feels like hitting the lottery.
I’m a little frustrated that no new business came out of this weekend’s open houses. I tried to sell myself as hard as I was trying to sell those houses. By the last guy through yesterday, I was throwing every trick in the book just to get an email address for him to follow up. I made at least three solid pitches, and he deflected every time. It was like a toddler versus a ninja. I had no hope.
While I waited for the sense of relief to sink in this afternoon, I recommitted myself to a project that feels immensely hopeful at its core. I’ve started emptying out all of the junk and boxes I shoved in my dressing room closet three years ago, and I’m sorting everything into sizes. Over the last ten years I have worn five different sizes, and I’ve carried all five wardrobes with me since the skinny days, with the dream that I’ll be able to wear these clothes again someday. I’m not ready to get rid of all of it, but I’m down with removing all but currently wearable clothes from the grab and go section of the closet. Any clothes I bought on the way up that never brought me joy are out of here. (I’ve already donated bundles, but I can always let go of more.) Anything I could drag out after a solid two months of Keto will stay in the room, in plastic storage under the daybed, and everything else I can’t part with needs to be somewhere else. Garage, probably. I’ll beat myself up less staring at tiny jeans, and I’ll feel more efficient being able to make clothing decisions more quickly. And who knows, if I go to all the effort of moving out the stuff I can’t wear currently, maybe the universe will take that as a dare for a diet and exercise plan to work for me for the first time in a decade.
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