While it was mostly possible to ignore certain aisles at the stores I frequent, walking right past candy and ribbons and bows and twinkling lights without stopping (okay, no, I stopped a little bit at the twinkling lights), the sign I saw this afternoon when I went to buy salad veggies stopped me in my tracks. My local grocery store has thrown down the gauntlet, and I am steeling myself to pick it up. They had a "Christmas trees -- coming soon!" sign out front. Now, I won't be buying a tree, not since we've started culling little spindly trees from our mountain property for the cost of a trip to the claim, but I think I'm ready to start thinking about decorating in general. I found myself in this mood last year around this time, but the illness was building to crisis levels, and my energy ran out before I got too far down that road. I am not ready to dig in the garage for the decorations yet, but I'm ready to make a plan. I want to have it in place so that when I hit that moment during Thanksgiving weekend and feel the urge, I don't have to resist it. I will not be shamed or bullied into losing the holiday spirit.
I've already started completing craft projects that I can't photograph and put online. I've shared some of the works in progress with the family members they're intended for, but I have my secrets too. And that's the problem. I am the worst secret keeper in the world. I just finished something tonight, while the Mr and I were getting him caught up to the episode where I stopped watching the Good Place, so we can go forward together. The thing I made was Really Freaking Cute. And I want it to be a surprise, so I can't show it off. Secrets are hard.
Some random person on Twitter, one I do not follow, but someone I do retweeted, tried to pose a viral question. It went something like "the decade ends in a month, and I failed to do (x)." I was totally taken aback. It really hadn't occurred to me that the decade was ending so soon. I just wasn't looking at it in those terms. How far I have come. When I was a little kid, and the 1970s were ending, I was utterly terrified of the 1980s. I don't know what I imagined was going to change, but it honestly scared me. We were hurtling to the future, and it was too much for me back then. Later on, I laughed a lot at Y2K preppers, but I did allow a tiny spot in the back of my mind to wonder whether our electronics would reset properly. Now here we are six weeks from the 20s, and it was so unimportant to me that I didn't even notice it was close. I'm going to take that as proof of personal growth.
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