Still no word on whether chemo has been approved by my insurance. I don't understand why this is taking longer than every other procedure I have ever had done, including a giant surgery for which I spent six days in the hospital, and never saw the bill. (There was a good reason I insisted that if I had to have diverticulitis surgery, it was going to be while the Mr was still on active duty. There were six digits worth of good reasons.) Yesterday I didn't want to call and poke around in the process to investigate why it was moving so slowly. Today I'm getting nervous, not only that they won't approve chemo, but that they will come back and tell me this port I'm already wearing inside my skin wasn't cleared properly, and I'll see a bill for 30 grand. I get anxious pretty easily, especially when there is radio silence. I can imagine too many things, from disapproval to people on one side or the other of this equation setting my request aside and forgetting to pick it back up again. And now I have to wait the whole weekend for my next chance to sit by the phone.
I know it's coming sooner or later. I'm just very frustrated by the lack of information. I am going forward with my preparations, knowing that it will eventually start. To that end, I invited my daughter over this afternoon, and handed her a pair of scissors. My instructions were to give me a shoulder-length bob. Just like the last time I let her at me, to cut off the purple and green on the bottom of my long hair, she got a little over-eager. It's still a bob, but it's barely at chin level. I need to play with it, like wash it and put a curling product in it, to decide how much I like it this short. Not that it really matters. Unless something shocking happens, like them telling me they won't let me have chemo, it's all going to fall out anyway. I expect some time before 4th of July to post pictures of me having a family member shave me bald. That is, I assume I'll post those pictures. It might depend on how the rest of me is looking about then, like if my face swells up or my skin gets a little too white and/or green.
I shopped for a few of the comfort items for my bag after my haircut. I had limited energy, so I only went to King Soopers. Thus, I didn't find everything I needed, or have been advised that I will need. I was surprised at how much trouble I had finding what I wanted. I did find a sleep mask and spongy ear plugs (both pink, because duh), which surprised me. But I struggled with simple things like moisturizing mouth rinse and sanitizing wet wipes. I probably just didn't know where to look for some of the things. For example, I crossed the store multiple times, struggling to figure out where applesauce cups were kept. I rarely go down the cereal aisle (I don't even like walking past sealed boxes of oatmeal, for fear of setting off my food sensitivities), so I had no idea that that's where my local King Soopers shelves applesauce. It made no sense to me, but I grabbed a couple packs of cups and moved on. Also, apparently they stopped stocking the old-people candies I bought a month ago, like the Brach's lemon drops. I'll look elsewhere for lemon and ginger candies, that should help me when chemo literally leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
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