Genetic testing results came in today. As it was explained to me, these are tests on the tumor itself, and not necessarily on my ancestry, to evaluate risk. I really didn't know what to expect. Of course I imagined that it could go poorly, and I imagined that they could say, "All good. Radiation and then you're done forever." I honestly expected the latter. Turns out no, it was the former. Not only was I high risk for a recurrence of cancer, but I was solidly high risk. No fence-straddling here. On a range of plus one (low risk) to minus one (high risk), I was approaching minus point six. Bottom line is that my very specific, advanced-test results say clearly that chemotherapy would be of great benefit to me.
While I sat in the exam room, waiting between seeing the tech and seeing the oncologist, I took time to reflect. Waiting for the biopsy and then the lumpectomy felt like an agonizingly long time. But now that I'm this far, it seems like this has happened too quickly for me to have adjusted to my new reality. It still feels like it's happening to someone else, like I'm watching a movie with a character I'm deeply invested in, but it isn't me. I try to use the words cancer and tumor (and all the other related terms) as often as I can, not to elicit sympathy, but to make it seem real and relatable. I still get a little impostor syndrome over it.
Once they pre-approve everything with my insurance, this will go quickly. I'll have a chemo class that the Mr (and maybe our daughter) will go through, so we know what to expect. Then the surgeon who did my lumpectomy will put in a port (I understand this will be under anaesthesia -- whew!), to compensate for my horrible little veins. When the oncologist told me it was "only three rounds," I don't know whether that means three total infusions, or three weeks of them spread out over months, or what. She probably said it clearly, but I was taking in a lot of information all at once. It got lost in translation. This is what the class is for, right?
We discussed side effects this afternoon. I may look forward to my lupus symptoms calming a bit while I'm on chemo. It's one of the advanced treatments for autoimmune disease that is resistant to other medications, so it's common for people like me to feel better on chemo. Also, it's possible that I'll lose some weight. Granted, it will be because I'll feel nauseated all the time, and not want to eat. It's a risk I'm willing to take. And lastly, we talked about hair loss. I'll be on infusions of chemo and on long-term pills that will both cause hair loss in most people. I have a friend on just the pills who hates how thin her hair is now. The doc said if I wear their high-tech cooling cap during infusions, I'll probably keep my hair. But she also said insurance doesn't cover it, and it costs two grand. Bald it is! I'm going to learn to wrap scarves around my head like the best of them. It'll be an interesting look. I promise, I'll take a few selfies so you can see.
No comments:
Post a Comment