Arrivé

Inspirational song: I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (Warren Zevon)

First things first, we are here. The last night of the trip was awful. We were so desperate, we would drive 15 miles between exits in Kansas, and then pull over for 10 minutes of sleep. Anything just to get farther down the road. I was terrified of how poorly the cats were handling being stuck in carriers for two days. Most of them drank a little water, but Jack refused. I didn't know how she was to survive without water. Somewhere around 2 this morning, we admitted that we were a danger on the road, and pulled in to a rest area near Ellis, KS. Mr S-P knew we needed to be flat. He parked us in the loop where RVs go, grabbed the two blankets from the cab and spread them on the ground. I normally don't enjoy sleeping on the hard earth, but last night it was the best treat ever. I only allowed us 3 hours before we had to get moving again. The cats didn't get a break, and we had to reach the end. The stars were beautiful in dark rural Kansas.

We made it to the apartment at 1030, and immediately triaged the animals. Dogs in one room, cats in the other. Water to everyone. A cat box seems to have perked Jackie up. Apparently she didn't like saving up for 2 days. I discovered quickly and painfully how dehydrated I was. I had brought in five or six rapid fire armloads from the trailer, and I started hyperventilating. I sat down and it got worse. I realized I was bone dry, not a drop of sweat anywhere on my body. I have never been so happy for cold tile floors before. The man covered me with a wet towel and got me water. I wasn't able to drink nearly enough. Even after dinner, I kept having rapid heartbeats, dry skin, confusion, and cramping. It all came to a head while we were beginning the unload at the storage unit. I hit crisis point and have been trying to drink watered down Gatorade ever since. It's not helping much.

I'm riding around like dead weight in the truck between places where the man is scattering our belongings. I need real sleep, not naps on the ground or in a bouncing truck. Half the time my eyes are closing of their own accord, and I am relying on other senses to tell me where I am. Last night I knew by smell that I was in Kansas, with the cloyingly sweet prairie grass smell coming in as we drove. Today, with open truck windows and a half conscious mind, I noticed the smell of the open area surrounding Boulder. It smells like wooden blocks, possibly as specific as Lincoln Logs. I hadn't remembered that in almost 20 years. Today the decades melted away and I was once again a young mother in Boulder, trying to make ends meet and do what I could for my family. For two months I have watched the years peel off of Mr S-P's face. Today they rolled away from my senses. This is going to be an interesting time in our lives.