Buffoons and Bimbos

Inspirational song: Fool in the Rain (Led Zeppelin)

I have a role to play and I embrace it. I am the court jester, the class clown, the entertainer, the pleaser. I can't stand seeing people upset or bored. I am uncomfortable with conversational pauses. I know no other way to get my voice heard other than flippant remarks, bad jokes, or snark. I try to interject silliness in every situation, whether it is appropriate or not. I'm not really sure I want to change, even though it would be nice to be taken seriously every now and then, especially if that means I would be given credit for being the intelligent woman I am. I may have allowed myself, in response to my crippling social awkwardness, to cloak myself too thoroughly in the guise of the bimbo persona I adopted over twenty years ago. It stopped being my superhero secret identity and has invaded my real life.

I have been trying to use those powers for good lately, but I can't tell whether they are helping. I have close friends going through an economic crisis (their investments are proving difficult to protect--not impossible, just challenging). I see them often, and am trying to be calm and supportive, and an understanding shoulder to lean on. I'm available for more, if they realize I'm serious and take my offers. Tonight my only recourse was buffoonery. They're overly stressed, and my inner fool was the one to answer the call this time. For a few brief moments we got one of them to laugh a little, and if that brought him back a step from the edge of the chasm of despair where he had been standing unsteadily, then we did our jobs right. I hope they realize I do understand their stress and am sympathetic. I am not taking it lightly or dismissing it. I just don't want to add to it by being an unpleasant person to be around.

On a different, ongoing topic, we have submitted an offer on the house I want to be Smith Park West. All offers on the property are due tomorrow, and I have to hope that our price is good enough and our letter compelling enough. We did explain to the listing agent at the open house how much we just want to get home, to family and to the land of Mr S-P's birth. We reiterated that, and emphasized how determined we are to keep the unbelievable vintage charm as perfectly preserved as it is right now. The offer is signed and delivered. We should know in a few days whether we have to come up in price, and by how much. I want to win this, more than you can imagine. I am not playing around here.