I think I had an inflated sense of how much activity I was capable of this weekend. I am starting to feel old, especially after spending Friday and Saturday pretending I could keep up with a bunch of 19 year olds. I'm still not sure how I managed to march quickly up the ramp and up the steep hill into the fieldhouse after the game and still maintain my spot in the ranks, after two full days of marching and playing and riding a roller coaster of emotions in the stands. My arms were tingling by the time we reached the top of the hill, and I thought, wouldn't that just be the topper. These poor band kids having to pick up the middle aged woman who had a heart attack after the homecoming game. I got a second wind and made it back to the music building, but I definitely coughed all night and my lungs burned the whole time.
I was still pretty sore this morning when I got up to work on smoking meat, baking a cheesecake, and cleaning house enough to have the family over. I was left on my own all day. The mister, his sister, and our kids went up in the mountains, to hike to a lake that has great significance to my husband's family. They were supposed to be up and back fairly quickly. Let's just say that it's a good thing that this family views schedules as loose guidelines. My nuclear family was late coming home, but that was offset by the blessing that when we said "be here between four and five," the rest of the family showed up much closer to five. It was still closer to six before I sat down for the first time all day. With the added time, I managed to get the house relatively presentable, and prepared all of the food I intended to. I felt pretty good about that. But that first chance to sit... That felt pretty amazing. I just wish I could say the same about my feet. Not even a little brown liquor in my drink made the feet feel any better.
A couple of times, I pondered what this house would be like for parties. It wasn't until tonight, when it was full of our family that I understood, this place was made for gatherings. It needs it. It felt so right to have everyone here. I may need to adjust my furniture and flatware levels in the future when I do this again, but be assured, I will do this again. I had been moping for a few weeks, thinking I didn't want to go through with a housewarming party with our friends, because I had no faith that anyone would show. I had lost my confidence. But I think I found a thread of steel in my spine after all. I can do this. I need to do this. I just need to find the time. Maybe after I finish school next month. I won't have the time or energy before then.
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