Oh, man, what am I getting into now? I had my last long visit with my primary care doc this afternoon. She announced rather suddenly that she was going to retire. We get along well, and she knows a lot about my life, but I have always maintained a doctor-patient relationship with her, thus I know very little about her personal life. I don't know why she's retiring, and I let that professional distance keep me from asking. I had a handful of issues that I couldn't put off any longer, though I tried, and I needed to discuss where I ought to go next. The clinic who had initially assured her they would take a lot of her practice backed out when she asked them for specifics. So I needed to get her backup plan. She recommended one doctor by name for me, and said there were others at the practice who would be good for the Mr. I guess I'll be going by there in person on Monday, so I can sign release forms to get my records transferred over without delay if they accept me. I'm not sure I have the mental energy to retrain a whole new primary care doctor. I'm complex. I need someone who knows a lot about a lot, and who will listen and recognize that I do my research too.
I tried to relay as much as I could with the my PCM about the progress I've made with the cancer plan. I am so confused now. We talked about so many drugs and supplements, I really don't know which I should be taking during treatment, which I should avoid, which I could start even during radiation, and which to consider later. I seriously don't know why some supplements I'm taking now that say "support immune health" are okay, but doc gets upset when I mention food with garlic, because it might make my immune system act up. And does she consider me failing on the anti-malarial drug that they usually prescribe for lupus? She got really in-depth about the new-ish injectable medication, and whether I ought to start it as soon as radiation was over. Do I even want to discuss this with the rheumatologist? I'm a bit leery of it.
I'm supposed to spend all day Saturday in Aurora. I have to leave my house early and ride down with one of the guys I carpooled with a month ago. When he suggested we all carpool again, I immediately countered by saying I would not drive, no way, no how. I had to bug out halfway through the day last time, and nap in my car in the parking garage. Now that I know why I have such extra fatigue, I'm not dumb enough to drive all the way to SE Denver. The third member of our group already bowed out (she also has autoimmune pain). I so desperately want to skip out too. I don't have the energy for this. But I committed to showing up. I never learned how to just say no to this junk.
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