Show time was 7 this morning. We were not on time. We came stumbling up to the outpatient check in desk at 7:10, apologizing. Thankfully, the hospital was not busy at that time of day, so there were no repercussions and no scolds. The IR surgery suite (um... interventional radiology?) was practically empty. At least no other patients but me were visible. There were boatloads of medical professionals. Nurses, interns, PAs... I don’t know the makeup, but there were probably six or seven people in blue scrubs at the desk when I arrived. They were also there when I was being wheeled back to the OR, stopping in the hallway before we went through the main doors, so I could hop off the bed and go to the bathroom with all kinds of wires and tubes hanging off of me. That felt very conspicuous, making that move in front of a crowd. Also, can I say that tidying up after going to the potty is quite a trick with an IV (disconnected from bag), taped on pulse-ox monitor, and all the cardiac monitor wires dangling in the way? I don’t know how I did it.
I am rarely such a baby before surgery or surgery-like procedures, but this morning I was needy. I had been so uncomfortable when the port was placed, I begged to be knocked out. They said they really wouldn’t do it, and besides, this is so quick it’s unnecessary. I made them swear to wrap me up like a mummy in warm blankets, and they followed through. They did pour an extra big shot of Benadryl in my IV, as we negotiated after they said no to standard sedation. I was under a body-sized drape for the procedure, with just a hole over the port, and between the Benadryl, warm blankets, and warm air under the drape, I relaxed enough that I caught myself snoring twice as I drifted in and out of awareness. They really were done before I knew it.
The nurses in that surgical suite know my daughter, and they had asked her a few times about me since the port placement. When I got there, before they put it together that this bald lady was her mom, my primary nurse said “when have I seen you recently?” I made the connection and said the port went in this May. They all said, was it just May? So quick! I assured them that the summer did not go quickly for everyone. Every hour was a week long for me. Just like last time, the assembled nurses were both professional and extremely friendly and approachable. I cannot stress enough how lucky I am to have fallen ill in this particular community. So many wonderful people working in the medical field here.
I was fine to get myself to and from the car after I was released (no wheelchair needed), but wow, I was not 100% myself. I sat in my chair at first, nodding off and kicking my neck uncomfortably. So I moved to the bed, to see whether I could sleep on my side yet. The answer to that was no, and I flopped onto my back, with a bit more snoring that I could hear even as I slept. I moved back to the living room, and still had to rest my eyes a few times. Those darling ladies took me seriously when I begged for Benadryl, I must say. I think Harvey was mocking me at the end of the day, sacked out at my feet, sleeping with his mouth open. “Dur dur dur... Look at me... I’m mom. (Snorrrrrre)”
At least that yucky port is out. Lidocaine has worn off, and the one picture I took post-op looks weird. But I’m happy as a girl can be.
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