The worst seems to have passed. The signs suggest that my bone marrow has begun to function as I want it to again, and it feels like I'm over the depths of the neutropenia. It's possible that my white blood cell count is still low. It hasn't been 8 hours yet since my energy levels perked up. But I'm definitely more alert, and it's much less difficult to walk between rooms of my house.
It was super scary, I'm not gonna lie. I didn't know how to handle it. Even before I had the diagnoses that came with the move back to Colorado, I always bragged about how strong my immune system was. I never worried about germs. I knew that any typical bug that made the rounds would die in my body within 12 hours. Mincing around my house for fear of scratching my skin, using hand sanitizer, having my daughter wear a surgical mask in order to spend the day with me--these things were unsettling. This morning was extra terrible. I barely slept, and when I did I had bad dreams. I had no energy even to stand up, but I still had to take care of the neighbor dogs one last time. As soon as I got back from them, I curled back up in my bed, and shook with fatigue. My daughter stayed long enough to help me clean up after the big messy dinner last night, and then she went home. By 10 am I was sound asleep again.
I slept until around 1 in the afternoon. I know I ignored a phone call, and I think I texted "ok" to my husband once, but otherwise, I was dead to the world. I let myself wake slowly, mostly just sitting up and turning on Fixer Upper. Within an hour, I had recognized my head seemed clearer. A couple of times I got up for drinks or snacks, and I walked much faster, with less pain. As the afternoon wore on, my situation continued to improve. I'm not running a marathon tomorrow or anything, but I may just have a sort of normal life for the rest of this cycle. That's enough for now.
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