Let's start with a recap of the science. Yes, I had to Google it. This isn't something that I ever had to worry about when I was just dealing with lupus, before or after diagnosis. One of the things they follow closely in a chemo patient's blood is the neutrophil count. These are a subset of white blood cells, made in bone marrow, and are the reason we are given Neulasta the day after infusion. Normal people have neutrophil counts well up in the 1000s. They say the normal range is 1500 to 8000. When the PA lead up to announcing my blood results today, at a regularly scheduled appointment, she said she'd accept anything over 1000. (I sort of remember the day I met her, getting hydration during the first cycle, and her saying my count then was 7-800, and she was okay with it.) Well.... today it wasn't so good. She said my blood tested at 200. Anything under 500 is "severely neutropenic." That might explain some of the symptoms I'm having.
I am making myself eat occasionally, but I really have no durable appetite. They frowned at me and said I'd lost 10 pounds since they weighed me a week ago. In my defense, I'm pretty sure I was already taking steroids, and up a few pounds of water weight that day. I was wobbly when I walked in from the car (dropped off right at the door), and I kind of stumbled into the elevator, then my leg tried to crumble out from under me when the elevator started to rise. I didn't fall either time, but it humbled me. They asked a lot of questions about what I'd experienced, and I ticked off as many things I as I could remember. Headache from hell, fatigue, hip pain (from lying down all the damned time), bad taste in my mouth, bathroom changes, and cough. PA told me my heart rate was up, blood pressure was on the low side, but temp was fine. She listened to my chest and pushed on my belly (which hurt). And then she knitted her brows and spoke to me very gently. I kind of wish she had smiled and joked rather than looking at me like I was, as they say, fra-gee-lay.
I'm now on powerful, broad-spectrum antibiotics. They had to do a little research to find something they think I can take, with all of my antibiotic allergies. They also prescribed an anti-fungal mouthwash, because my tongue is nasty. Coated with something that hydrogen peroxide mouthwash can't kill on its own. The pharmacy had to have it sent from somewhere else, so I get a whole day to anticipate how awful it's going to taste. I am at the point in the week where I want to get up and start having a life again, but instead I have to wrap myself in bubble wrap to avoid getting scratched, stay away from anyone sick, use hand sanitizer, and do a whole lot more resting. Yay, boredom.
Also, bonus points if you're an old weirdo like me, and recognized why I titled this post as I did. It might not be a straight-forward as you think.
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