A Happy Mother's Day

Inspirational song: Mother Lover (The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake)

I was one of those moms they make the memes about. Every single year, I asked for the same thing: a clean house that I didn't have to achieve on my own. Several times I actually got it. Most of the time, I got brunch at the club too, but that became less fun when I could no longer eat pancakes, french toast, cake, or quiche. This year, I was responsible for cleaning my own house. Sleeping in was harder too, since the cats all insist on being fed on time, and they will go to any lengths to accomplish this outcome. So I caved in and fed them and washed my own dishes. I paid for the ingredients for my own mother's day dinner and did all the cooking too. But that's okay. I got to spend all afternoon with one of my kids, and my dinner was exactly like I like it. We even went shopping first, so now I have swimsuits that my autoimmune-eaten shoulders can get me out of (things I never thought I'd have to worry about when the tankini was invented). As mother's days go, I could have done a lot worse.

The Facebook-era mom that I am not is the one who posts all kinds of memes about mother's day, who writes on the walls of every girlfriend who has children, who texts everyone in the contact list, or who calls everyone. It's not that I dislike these people. I'm just not that much of an overachiever. I'm lucky to remember to call my own two moms. I think they're usually surprised on those years that I do make that phone call. I hope they don't think less of me for it. I'm terrible at making any and all phone calls. It's not a reflection of how I feel about anyone. I just don't belong on this earth with a phone in my hand.

Perhaps the greatest gift I gave myself today was finally getting that whole chemistry thing sorted out. Wow, does that water feel different when it isn't so acidic that it won't even register on litmus paper. It was super pleasant to spend the afternoon soaking and chatting, and greeting every cat who climbed the stairs to investigate why we crazy humans were willing to sit in water. It was water. And wet. And why, mom, why?? I suspect once I get a big shelf along the back side of the tub, they'll just hang out and stare at me all day. Then it will be like every other event of my life, performed in front of a very small audience.