I had an attack of short attention span in the car today, and lost all patience with some song that was taking forever to end. (I honestly don't remember what it was.) So I changed the station, and came in on another song with the same problem. So I laughed at myself, and tried again. Landed on "Hotel California." At least that one didn't end with that blight of 1970s music, the vocal "repeat and fade." It just ended on a guitar solo that went on forever in a loop. What was the deal with mid 1960s through 1970s record producers? Did they not know how to extricate themselves from a song once they started mixing it? It was anathema to them actually to end a song for about a twenty year stretch. I used to be a pretty serious student of music in my youth, and I never understood why all the popular music songbooks gave the "repeat and fade" direction, nor what I was supposed to do with that. How do you do that in a piano recital as a twelve year old kid? I had to go scrolling through my playlists on my iTunes to find songs that fit the example for my gripe for today, and I realized how few of those kinds of songs I have been willing to put on the limited space on my iPad. Modern songs just don't seem to rely on such a dumb gimmick, and for that I am very grateful. Apparently I'm not likely to gravitate towards that sound. I've been wishing for the time, energy, and inclination to go to sing karaoke, and I kept thinking I'd enjoy singing "Midnight Special" by Creedence Clearwater Revival. I might do so, until I got to the end of it, and then I pictured myself having to sing "Let the midnight special/ shine a light on me; let the midnight special/ shine its ever-loving light on me" a dozen or so times, and it lost its appeal.
I waited all day for any sort of response to our offer. Never heard a word after yesterday's "Offer received, thanks" text. I barely slept all night (which is becoming common, unfortunately), and have been anxiously looking at my phone for any sign of an email, text, or call. Nothing. Look at phone, set it down with a sigh. Repeat and fade. Not the best way to spend a day. The longer the phone was silent, the less confident I became, and now I'm just exhausted and depressed. I have completely faded. The anticipation was too much for me, and now I just don't know what to do with myself.
Anticipation seems to be the name of the game right now. I keep going over to the same peony bush, the one that came with this property, watching the buds grow bigger and bigger, waiting to see them finally explode in frothy pink. The lilacs we planted last year, the one over Zoe's grave and the one under my bedroom window, are getting so close to blooming, and it's becoming difficult to wait for them. All the other lilacs in town are well into their bloom cycles, by several weeks. I'm learning that not only is common sage a great perennial (I need to learn a lot of new ways to cook with it), but that it flowers in the spring. I have no idea what sort of blossoms it will have, but I've been looking every day, waiting for them to open up. There are a lot of changes happening, some that I am looking forward to, and a few that I really wish weren't coming. Change is the story of my life. Repeat and fade.
No comments:
Post a Comment