All I Had Left

Inspirational song: When the World Is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around (The Police)

QOTD: "It's all I've got left. Don't take this away from me." -Anne

I'm trying to make do. I really am. I'm having a crappy weekend, and I am struggling to maintain the few pieces of sanity I have left. I thought it might be nice to grill hamburgers, since it is one of those holiday weekends when such things are done. I asked for Against the Grain rolls to use as hamburger buns, and got ridiculed for the fact that they aren't a traditional bread product. I said, look, this is all I've got left. Don't take this away from me. When you haven't gotten to eat a "hamburger" in years, you work with whatever "bun" you can eat and still survive.

Very little is going right these days. I still can't open up about why, but trust me. I'm heading down a dead end alley and it's all going to hurt very soon when I hit a brick wall. I'm trying hard to focus on the good things I still have around, and make the best of them while I have them. I sometimes have to be reminded of what they are. At times like tonight, they seem pretty far out of reach.

I tried to soak and relax out in Melody Pond this evening. The weather was perfect, the different colored lights were entertaining, and there was a fire off in the corner that maintained impressive height for a remarkably long time. But now I'm inside, my mood has returned to foul, and I'm about to try my first melatonin ever. I haven't slept like I'm supposed to in more than a month, and I'm sure that's contributing to my inability to roll with the punches lately. I hope this stuff works. I suppose I'll let you know.