Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Outburst

Inspirational song: Shout (Tears for Fears)

The stress of this moment gets to everyone sooner or later. It was my turn today. I was sore and tired and stressed and suddenly the whole world was too much for me. I don't want to get too deep into the details, because I'm still kinda tender about it, but basic executive functions freaked me out. I was angry and loud and deeply frustrated. I shouted enough to make myself physically sick. It's now bedtime, and I still have a sore throat, having felt all day like I had been violently choked from the yelling. My stomach turned, and I never ate an actual meal. I managed to snack on a little gouda cheese and pecan crackers, and that will have to do for the day. 

I thought I was surviving our communal stress pretty well up to this point. Many people close to me had had breaks in their cool around me, but the longer I went without one, the more cocky I got thinking I wouldn't do it. I try to be calm and understanding when others melt down during plague times. I hope I've earned the same consideration. 

This has been covered several times in this space, but it bears repeating. This is hard enough on all of us. Be gentle to yourselves, folks. We need each other's support, and we need to manage our own well-being too. I wish all of you peace and good health.

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