I'm definitely blogging late tonight. I had a spiritual experience. I saw gods. My own personal rock gods, that is. I have been a loyal, die-hard, rabid Marillion fan since 1985. I credited their album from that year with saving my life (a story for another day), and I have never wavered in my support of them. In 1988, their original singer left and they found a new guy. That new guy (who refers to himself as "h") has been with them ever since, and even though there are still old timer fans who could never accept the change, most of us grew and adapted and loved the band for who they are now, not who they were in our childhood/young adulthood.
My old friend from Oklahoma procured tickets for us when they first came available on a fans' presale, a block of seats in the fifth row, center section. The show did not sell out (more's the pity) and there was an empty seat directly in front of me. I had an unimpeded view of John Wesley for the opening act (the fourth time I've seen him over the last 25 years), and I was able to see every mischievous, passionate expression on Steve Hogarth's face as he delivered yet another stellar performance. None of our kids had been with us to see the band before, and my friends and I got to bring the next generation of fans in for their first shows. The kids were blown away.
The band had expressly asked us not to take pictures during the show, and it was honestly a struggle for me. But I decided I would honor their request and leave my camera in my purse. I wanted to be truly present in the moment, and it made the night that much more special for me. I was so close, I made eye contact with h multiple times, and gave him my full attention. When they played the one song they brought out from the days of the former singer, h sat on the stage five yards from my face. One of my companions went ahead and took his picture then, and I had her send it to me. Feel free to imagine me at that moment, locking eyes with a man I've loved and lusted after since I was a young woman.
The band have long considered themselves "uncool as fuck." (For a while, I think they had t-shirts that said that.) They have been unrestrained by the need to fit into the pop charts or to bow to the whims of record label executives. Marillion were among the very first to discover the power of crowdfunding when their label wouldn't support a tour in 1997/98, and we fans took it upon ourselves to pay for it. Back then, such a thing was unheard of. Now they find themselves mature enough to say exactly what's on their minds, and it's some heavy stuff. The new album has no pop single anywhere on it. It's a powerful statement against the oligarchy that owns our world and considers itself too big to fail, and it rails against the fear that fetters so many people. The crowd sang along as h led us: "We've decided to risk/ melting our guns/ in a show of strength/ in a show of strength..." The notion of purposefully living an open, fearless, welcoming life as a willing antidote to fear and isolationism is powerful. It has always taken even hardcore fans several listens to the new albums before we really dig deep enough into them to take them to heart. I have just begun to hit that point on F.E.a.R, and it is moving me in ways I desperately needed right about now.
At the end of the night, I lingered in the lobby to get a picture with Wes, and to thank him for bringing me to tears by playing the one song of his that could have done it to me. It was "13 Days," and he said that it was a true story. I told him why it made me cry, and he gave me a big hug. Every time I have spoken to him, I have come away thinking he was such a good man. I knew I'd rave about Marillion tonight, but if you enjoy brilliant guitar rock, look up John Wesley too. You'll be glad you did.
Crap-full disclosure-didn't realize no pics during the show. My bad.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about it! There were tons of people doing it. But I was directly in h's line of vision, with a gap in front of me. I wanted to soak that up.
Delete