Not Naive

Inspirational song: The Fruit of the Wild Rose (Marillion)

There are days that only a food metaphor will do: Even though I generally despise leftovers, there are a few exceptions. When I make a really good boeuf bourguignon, I always make enough for it to sit around to be enjoyed a day or two later. The flavors don't completely marry and mellow until the second or third day. I have been letting Tuesday night's concert simmer in my memory for 48 hours so far. Its flavors are continuing to blossom in my soul. Bits and pieces of the new album are still echoing there and I keep singing along with them. I wrote right after the show that even we die hard fans take time to bond with each new album, and I was only beginning to approach a full understanding of the latest record. Watching the face of Steve Hogarth as he sang his lyrics took me much closer to that point. I am especially taken with the song "Living in F E A R." I can't stop thinking about it. "Our wide eyes aren't naive/ They're a product of a conscious decision/ The welcoming smile is the new Cool/ The key left in the outside of the unlocked door/ Isn't forgetfulness/ It's a challenge to change your heart/ There's a price to pay/ Living in f e a r is so very dear/ Can you afford it?" In a haunting prog rock song, Steve Hogarth has summed up the direction I have intentionally aimed myself, and I will not be turned. I live openly, conspicuously, and I refuse to let the outside world tell me that a pervasive boogeyman is always knocking at my door. I will occasionally encounter situations that are not designed with my best interests at heart. But I'm not going to let the media and politicians tell me to live continuously in fear of "the other" and let them control my votes and my purchases that way. I'm going to keep meeting new people and letting them see the heart of me. I'm going to keep forgiving people who don't deserve forgiveness. I'm going to keep being honest and open. I'm going to be silly as long as it makes me happy. To paraphrase Hogarth in that same song, I'm not green, I'm just pleasant.

I changed my look today. I got rid of the glasses that looked like the ones my Gramps and Granny wore in the 1970s. I picked up a pair of nerdy girl frames that better fit my personality as it is right now. I tried about 15 times to get a selfie that I liked with them, and nothing really beat the one I took immediately upon walking away from the counter at Costco after I bought them. So far I can actually read in these. I haven't taken them off to look at my iPad yet. I think they are winners.

I'm still enjoying the hell out of autumn, for as long as it is hanging around Colorado. It was a record high in the 80s today, and the sun actually hurt me as I drove to get my glasses. Even so, my roses are starting to set hips for the birds and the new baby trees we planted in the last year have finally turned their leaves. The cherry tree hung on until only a few days ago, and then it went suddenly yellow. It's going to look beautiful as it grows, competing with the burgundy of the existing tree out front. And I discovered this afternoon that nectarine tree leaves turn the same color as their fruit. I am looking forward to living with this little beauty for the rest of my life, assuming it does well after a Colorado winter. I took my company to Boulder reservoir Tuesday morning and the scene was entirely changed from when I went out two weeks ago. Everything was brown and dry, and most of the trees were bare. It was still beautiful, and my Okie friends loved it. I embrace the change to winter willingly, happily. I'm proud of myself for surviving one more season.