It wasn't quite how I'd expected the day to work out. I didn't plan on getting a second pneumonia vaccine while at the doctor's office today. Between that and staying up until 3 am (as discussed in the last post), I was wiped out. I came home from the doc, tried and failed to schedule an imaging appointment (the fax from my doctor hadn't been sorted and filed yet--yeah, that's efficient). I then dumped an easy chicken soup in the Instant Pot, and dozed for the rest of the afternoon. I choose to blame the shot, really. As soon as she told me I was getting it, I thought, I'll feel like I have the flu. Yeah, kinda.
I did manage to find the picture I spent hours looking for online, until 3 this morning. It wasn't where I thought I'd seen it. It was in the photo album my mom brought me for my birthday a while back. It also wasn't the exact composition I thought it was. But it was the same skinny little dress, worn by the same skinny girl who ate a small handful of food a day. I paged back in the book, and went back in time. To my senior pictures, when I was sixteen (taken the summer before senior year in high school), when my middle was so little, but my arms were chubby enough to make me miserable. Another page back, and it was a picture from when I was fifteen, and had come off of a week of bronchitis that dropped me down to a size I actually liked, for the first time I could remember. It might have been those very jeans in the picture that I found and held up yesterday, making me feel so weirded out. I wonder how things might have been different if I'd gotten help for these eating and body image disorders back then.
No comments:
Post a Comment