This evening, while introducing myself to one of my daughter's friends, on the occasion of her birthday party, I raised my arms and quipped that I was ultimately responsible for the events of the day. She answered back, "So happy birthday to you too." You know, in a way, she was right. That experience was such a difficult medical obstacle course for me, all those years ago, I could say that my life re-started that day. I've been on bonus time ever since. Happy birthday to both of us, kid. Today marks one of the most important moments in both of our lives. I'm so glad I got to spend several hours of the day with you.
It was nice to see her whole circle of friends tonight. I have a passing friendship with most of them. But it was also nice to be able to celebrate and then step aside and let her be her own person with her own peer group. I always try to be "the cool mom," which means being funny and not judgy, and also means giving her plenty of space without creeping on the fringes all the time.
We stayed at the party for about two hours. I came home early enough to blog and get a full night's sleep. I actually have to work tomorrow. I had intended on staying on sabbatical all the way through to finishing chemo and starting radiation. But an opportunity fell in my lap, and I have no choice but to follow through on it. It might not end up being anything. It might be enough to cover the entire rest of my catastrophic cap (out of pocket limit) and have enough left over to replace my eight year old, busted up, saggy mattress. We shall see whether this turns into real work or just a pleasant drive in the canyons.
This is as much as chemo brain will let me write tonight. I hope these last few nights have made some semblance of sense. When I proofread, the words just go sideways anyway. If you can't handle rambling nonsense, you might want to give me a rest and pick it up again in October or so. It's not gonna get better until then.
No comments:
Post a Comment