My entire life of social awkwardness has been leading up to this moment. “Social distancing” recommended for everyone? My time to shine! No more wondering whether to shake hands or hug nervously. I always panic at hug time. I’m not good at it during the best of times. Lately, I’m a tragically poor hugger. I stress out and spend months wondering whether I shouldn’t have done it at all. Now I won’t have to beat myself up over it. I can just smile at people and keep my personal space. This is gonna be great.
I had the tv playing loudly in the bedroom, while I was hanging out in the kitchen and living room yesterday. I’m pretty sure it was Kathleen Sebelius who I heard suggesting jazz hands would be an acceptable alternative to handshakes. That seems like the perfect greeting for my personality. A beauty queen wave could work, as could clasping hands over my heart with or without a nod or a curtsy. But when I’m in a good mood, it’s gonna be jazz hands.
I’ve been stubbornly refusing to consider eliminating my weekly game night as the epidemic spreads. That is, I did until about three hours ago. I’ve experienced a little doubt since then, wondering whether it’s still safe to bring a handful of friends and family around the big table for games and food. I have been discussing it with my daughter. I told her I was more concerned about Jr’s continued health. She said she’s more worried about me. We both said we are eventually going to be exposed, one way or another. I’m almost hoping to get it over with now, before the hospitals are overwhelmed, just in case. The only thing that would be better is not to get it at all, ever.
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