And Then, Like a Miracle

Inspirational song: Mandinka (Sinéad O'Connor)

You guys! I finally found one! No, even better! I found two! 

I'd been dragging my feet about starting to paint the dining room, as I had done the last few days also. I only committed to the tiny area around the sliding glass door, but I still would have to move things around to do it, namely all of the plants on the Ikea shelves that live there. In the middle of the day, I started removing items from the shelves, stacking up all my little domesticated rocks and other objets d'art. I watered a bunch of plants and either left them in the sink to drain, or set them in bowls of water to soak from the bottom up. Somewhere around mid-afternoon I finally cracked open the can of paint and started cutting in with the brush. I hadn't done much by the time my messenger app started chirping at me, and I answered to see the face of the cutest grandson imaginable. The kids were calling to invite me out to get in trouble, just a little, as a treat.

We went to Home Depot to get a weeding tool that my daughter wanted for her house. It was horribly hot in the sun on the way there, but I think that was more a factor of how my recent medication change makes me even less able to handle heat. Val was wiped out from playing outside, and fell asleep in the car. She let her mother lay her down in a shopping cart, and I gave her my purse to use as a pillow. That's the first time she hasn't complained about being in a cart since she was an infant.

We went to the back corner of the store, and found the weed scraper she wanted. There was a tiny shovel misplaced near it, and Dmitri found it. He really, really, really wanted us to buy it. My daughter was tempted, but she decided to wait on it. He's still a little young for that sort of implement of destruction.

As we walked towards the front of the store, I went and did the same check for the same plant I have been doing since January. I said out loud that it won't be there, but I'll look anyway. Holy cow, there it was! Two four-inch pots of manjula pothos, waiting for me to buy them! I'm still in shock. They were eight dollars each (before military discount), compared to the single one I saw at the Flower Bin during the winter for eighty. Of course I took both. 

I haven't decided what to do with them yet. I am considering potting them together and making a huge mound of them at first. Then maybe later propagating them and working on running them up mosspoles to size up. But first, before any of that, I have to finish the painting so I can restack my plant shelves and tidy up the place.

Hot Rods

Inspirational song: Watching the Wheels (Johm Lennon)

For a day that was supposed to be all about painting the dining room, not a single drop of paint was applied to any surface in this house. That's okay. I have plenty of time for painting later. I found much better activities, on the spur of the moment.

All those "code orange" videos got to me, and my enthusiasm spilled over onto my daughter. We drove down to Boulder on a mission. The closest Joann Fabrics is there, and the one thing I couldn't live without was at that store. It wasn't even in the Halloween collection. It was in fall. When we were in the right aisle, my daughter 10 feet ahead of me, and she found the "fall is my second favorite f-word" mug, she called back to me. I told her to grab it. Another customer and a store employee were between us and saw which one I wanted. Both snickered. The customer said she got that one too. While there, I also bought a small ceramic cauldron from the Halloween or witchy collection, and when I got home, I potted my boobie cactus in it. Seemed apropos.

Occasionally throughout the year, my town has car rallies, where classic cars and rat rods drag Main Street. This was one of those nights. I don't know if it was poorly advertised or bad timing, but the turnout was far smaller than in years past. We put the car seats in the pickup and grabbed the grandkids, and did two circuits up and down Main. Then we pulled over at a bank parking lot and watched folks go by. There were several cool cars, but fewer spectators than I've ever seen. One guy in a flatbed truck was stopped at the light in front of us, and he saw Val waving. He waved back and then honked his giant horn for her. After the kids went home to bed, we stopped at a Noodles and Co and sat outside and continued to watch cars. The parking lot next to the restaurant had a couple dozen street rods parked in it, with folks milling around. Maybe we should have started there, instead of ending our night there.

Brownie Points

Inspirational song: Lawyers, Guns, and Money (Warren Zevon)

I want to be the kind of grandma who teaches the kids stuff, like how to sew or paint or play piano, as my grandmothers did with me. I want to be remembered the way I remember mine, by how the kitchen smelled or how long it took to go through the canned tomatoes after one grandmother died (three or four years, at least). I don't have the patience of a saint, so there are lots of skills that will need to wait until these guys aren't toddlers or preschoolers. But today was a good step forward towards passing on one of my most enduring skills, as queen of the kitchen.

Valerie told her mommy that she wasn't feeling well this morning, but they had to be here even if she was a bit under the weather. Mommy had a proctored certification exam for her work (which she passed, of course), so the kids came early. I devised a plan to get Dmitri some one-on-one time with grandpa, and they went down to float in the river just like Val did a few days ago. While they were gone, my smart four-year-old and I got to baking. I started her on a box mix of gluten-free brownies, and let her handle a lot more of the process than I had before. Her mom has helped her build skills too, so I was confident she could handle it. We cracked the egg together. I poured oil and water into the measuring cup for her to pour. She stirred with a fork, and scraped most of it into the pan. We still need practice using cooking spray, but that will come with time. She got enough covered to do the job. The only thing I wouldn't let her help with was getting it in and out of the oven. Overall, the brownies were so-so. It was a GF box mix, so we didn't expect perfection. The point was the process, and she did so well.

The boy came home damp and still full of energy. He played hard once here, and napped hard once he was persuaded to be still (which he never likes). We waited until both kids had helped feed the cats and dogs, and then cut up the brownies. Wouldn't you know, just like the bread from his grilled ham and cheese sandwich, pieces of that boy's brownie ended up on the floor. You have disqualified yourself, sir. And here I thought you liked chocolate.

In Neutral

Inspirational song: Grace Kelly (Mika)

What's the phrase from Elf? Cotton-headed ninny-muggins? Something like that. I think that describes me pretty well lately. I've been remarkably spacy and forgetful, and if I've forgotten something I was supposed to do, say, send, attend, or anything else to or for you, I apologize for missing it. I had the worst time just now remembering what day it was. I spent two hours trying to come up with what Mr S-P said he was going to do tomorrow morning, and the conversation where he informed me couldn't have happened more than two hours before that. 

I've spent too much time watching videos and daydreaming. I have very little to show for the last week. I can come up with cute excuses, like the heat wave is melting my brain or whatnot. I don't think I could make anything like that stick, though. I'm just in a slump. I'm not interesting. I'm doomscrolling and bingeing on reels and shorts. (Facebook seems to think I want to watch a lot of resin pours and polymer clay lately. Where my plant videos at?) I kind of want to start art projects, but I'm slow to organize while there is still a person residing in my craft room whose privacy I respect. I don't like going in there to find my stuff unless I know exactly where it was located last. 

What I want to do, after watching "code orange" videos (people shopping for Halloween decor that has just dropped in stores) is make a spooky skull painting for display in October. It's been so long since I used most of my already-old paints, I should just buy new anyway. That means waiting until I get paid at the first of the month before I dare set foot in a craft store. The urge to create coupled with the need to wait for funding is freezing me in place in executive dysfunction.

I haven't been too prolific with my photos lately. I just looked around my room until I saw something vaguely pretty, and snapped that. Picture-taking might be a way to unblock my creative inertia. If the weather is decent, I'll try to get out and do more this weekend.

By Myself

Inspirational song: You're Only Lonely (JD Souther)

It ought to be unsettling how many times I have to discard the opening question "is it weird" when I compose for this space in my head. Yes, Anne, it often is weird, whatever it is. Don't worry about being weird. Just accept it and move on. 

This weird thing I'm contemplating this time is whether other people are as thrilled as I am to get to spend time absolutely alone in the house. Even five or six years ago, when there were far fewer people in the inner circle, I liked having alone time. Now that we have housemates and extra animals living here, and grandchildren present a few times every week, my alone time is much more precious. I get excited by the dumbest things, like not feeling self-conscious about talking out loud to myself or being comfortable leaving the bathroom door open when I'm in there. I had two rounds of being the only human home today, and I enjoyed every second of silence and stillness. Of course a nap was involved, but a nap in a peaceful house is extra wonderful. 

Grandpa took Valerie out for one-on-one time. He had suggested taking both kids out to play in the floating section of the river, but Val asked for it to be just her. It ended up being a very special day for her, getting to play in water until it started raining, and then coming over to hang out with the grandparents and get all of the attention for herself. She helped feed the animals dinner, doing way more of it herself than before. She was extra cuddly with me, and we had a great uninterrupted-by-brother chat. She wanted to stay and watch videos and read the airplane magazine grandpa gave her, but we had to prepare for game night, so I took her home.

Now folks are over for games, but they asked to complete a very long, epic game of Catan (expansion pack) that they started when I was in California. So I am peacefully sitting in my favorite chair, playing jigsaw puzzles on my iPad, listening to them discuss the game. I don't have to tap into my social battery at all, and I am experiencing absolute bliss both being alone and with family/friends at the same time.

Butter

Inspirational song: Higher Love (Steve Winwood)

We should all aspire to live our lives with the same gusto and hedonistic pleasure as a toddler with a soufflé cup full of cinnamon butter. Holy cow. Dmitri was focused on his "appetizer" at dinner tonight, and none of us would have dared to dissuade him. Live for the moment, my son. Bravo.

I meant to go home after Rotary, I really did. But then I touched my phone while I waited to be able to back out safely, and before I knew it I was telling my daughter I would be right there. We had very few plans for what we intended to accomplish. We just wanted to be out. Or, more colloquially, "a-auutt." We got Italian cream sodas and went through the car wash (which Valerie is finally not scared of). We drove around the outskirts of town while Dmitri napped. And then we went to the larger Walmart and just meandered. The only thing any of us needed to buy was a refrigerant charge for her car's a/c. Didn't stop us from piling a collection of things in the cart. I was restrained. I only bought a pair of men's Levi's in my size on clearance (ten bucks--seemed reasonable). She grabbed a few more items, but thankfully before we got to the front, she changed her mind on a bunch of it. 

We were pretty wiped out by the time we left, but we less than couple hours to catch our breath before our scheduled (rain checked) dinner. We needed something kid-friendly so we settled on Texas Roadhouse. Once the butter ran out, so did Dmitri's ability to sit still. It's tough being almost-two. Overall, we did have a fun night out as a family, which is the whole point of birthday dinners. For the record, no, we did not force my daughter to endure an embarrassing "Texas yee-haw" at the servers' top volume. 

Upgraade

Inspirational song: Blue Skies (Willie Nelson)

What a relief. It was delightful having the unluckiest truck in Colorado gifted to a friend out of state, who can fill it with much better juju. As of today, it has been replaced by an upgrade. Not brand new, of course, but born in this century, kept in pristine condition, same vintage and color as my sweet little Focus that I loved. It's still an F150 like the janky truck, but as the Mr observed, at least with this one you can see out the back window. Compared to what we had, this is luxury. Still gonna do things like fill the bed with things like compost, mulch, or a paraplegic dog, and drive it up to the mountains sometimes. But finally we may have a vehicle that can take grandkids up to the cabin for the first time. None of the others were roomy enough or safe enough. I'm looking forward to getting to ride in it the first time. By the time it arrived here late this afternoon, schedules wouldn't allow a joy ride. Maybe tomorrow.

Normally it's late in July when I start whining about time creeping by too slowly. We haven't even made it out of June and I'm miserable. Too hot to go out in the garden already, too hot to be comfortable inside the house. I swear time has started moving backwards. Every second is an eternity, and I keep checking my phone compulsively hoping for something to keep my mind off of the heat. 

Maybe I'll take up chainsaw ice sculpture this year.

Trifecta

Inspirational song: Don't Bring Me Down (Electric Light Orchestra)

It's too hot. My tummy has been upset for days. I don't feel like writing. I don't have any concrete proof that these three things are related, but I can certainly imagine they may be. I'm not going to write much, as a result. Enjoy a photo of my beautiful asters, while I try to resolve the conflict of being very hungry but sure that any food I eat will upset my tummy even more.

Get It Over With

Inspirational song: Blue Morning, Blue Day (Foreigner)

Be careful what you ask for, lesson number 94,450, subsection projects. I looked above the refrigerator, where there was still that awful creamed-corn yellow in the corner, and a visible cobweb, and said out loud, oh, that's something I should try to get to this weekend. Finish painting the kitchen. Mr S-P was standing four feet away from there when I said it, and he immediately turned and set down what he was holding, moved an object out of the way, and dragged the fridge out as far as it could go. It now blocked access to the pantry slash laundry room, which is also the cat room, so I had no choice but to begin work immediately. Fine. If I regretted speaking my mind right then, I regretted it much less when everything there was completed and the fridge was moved back. I even plugged in a plant light and set it on top, in the hopes of giving a little life back to the weak and neglected pothos that lives (barely) up there. I am not sorry to see the very last of the yellow gone. I really did hate it by the time I settled on a color to go over it.

I also forced myself to commit to painting the rest of this big open concept space. I painted the smallest bit of the corner in the dining room, up high where we keep the wifi router mounted on the wall. When we changed and updated it a month or so ago, I bought a tiny shelf at Hobby Lobby, and hung the router a little lower than the original. I have been talked into putting it back on the supports that the first one was on, so I painted that spot hoping someone taller than I (and less wobbly on stepladders) can set it firmly in place. With a two foot by one foot section painted a lighter blue, now I have no choice. I have to keep going, and I'll need another gallon of paint sooner than later.

I wanted to get more pictures, so that my thumbnail on Facebook isn't that yucky yellow and proof of how dirty it was behind the fridge for who knows how long. But I'm just not feeling it. Sometimes the truth is the truth, and you're capable of handling it.

Moose and Squirrel

Inspirational song: Under the Sun (Marillion)

Every summer, at least once but usually more, we make time to go up to Rocky Mountain National Park. Specifically, we like to go up Trail Ridge Road, and feel like we are driving on top of the world. This year we chose the longest day to go up for the first time. Of course we took the kids. Val is finally tall enough she can see out the windows (somewhat) as we pass cool things, and D is strong enough that when grandpa said they would climb to the top of the mountain at the Alpine visitor center, he was as unstoppable as a tank all the way.

We bought lunch as Safeway before entering the park. We stopped early on to eat, where a park ranger was giving a talk and showing off antlers and horns from different animals. She had a Moose antler, a couple bighorn sheep horns, a skull (I think it was a sheep? I'll have to check photos), and various bits and bobs, like a hoof. While we ate, a moose and her calf wandered into a pond a couple hundred yards away. I will include a photo, but you probably won't be able to make out their location. While watching them walk around, I noticed a ground squirrel much closer to me. These were not the last park residents we would encounter.

I'm wondering if they way my docs tinkered with my medications has made both the heat of this summer and the low oxygen of altitude more problematic for me. I was way more dizzy than ever today, and I could barely stand up at the top of Trail Ridge. That's why I wandered the gift shop and sat in the restaurant while the others climbed the trail to the top. Once in the car, I zoned out, and by the time we were leaving Estes, I was asleep, and stayed that way most of the way home. I'm still sore and tired, six hours after we returned.

Last thing of note, as we got back to the tree line, on the way down, traffic was at a crawl. We didn't know what it was, but were making disparaging comments about tourists, as one does. Then we got to where we could see--two bull elks, one younger with messed-up antlers, and one absolute king of an elk, wandering leisurely along the edge of the road. The big guy turned randomly, and crossed in front of a car, and continued walking downhill along the center line. What a power move. What a goober. 

Happy Solstice

Inspirational song: Take a Chance on Me (ABBA)

Yesterday's temperature break was too short-lived. The sun was back today and it was another scorcher. I suppose that's appropriate. This was the solstice today, or rather it was this evening. Too bad the shortening of the days, starting tomorrow, won't equal a cool-down for at least a couple months. I am so not prepared for another "hottest summer since we started keeping records." I still don't have air conditioning in my 65 year old house. Maybe a mini-split is in my future sooner than later.

My bank account is on fumes, but naturally when my daughter says hey, go to Target with me, I say yes. I mostly kept my hands off of things, but when that little boy showed an interest in something I handed him, I bought it and will wrap it up for his birthday in a few weeks. We have been looking for toys that will develop his physical, potentially athletic side, and are looking for things he can throw and kick. He has a soccer ball already, but I wanted him to have a mini-football to toss and catch. I'm not going to force him into my favorite sport to watch, but I'm sure going to offer him the opportunity to learn the basics. He also got just a simple ball with Mickey Mouse on it, so we aren't steering him too hard into a specific sport. He was pretty cute about both of them.

I tried to greet the changing of the season with a deep cleanout of my room. Holy cow, do two shaggy dogs hide a lot of dirt under rugs. I could have grown root vegetables under the flokati rug. I was doing so well, until it was almost bedtime, and I was sitting in the living room chilling out. I then remembered I had left a whole bunch of stuff I pulled out to organize piled on the bed. I thought my long day was over, but no, back to work.