My daughter recently postulated to me that the reason I, and so many of my fellow followers of the Wheat Belly and similar lifestyle, have such a violent reaction to any brush with grains, no matter how trivial, is because we aren't constantly inoculating ourselves and have artificially created a hypersensitivity to all things wheat, corn, rice, etc. I counter that any food that requires me to take little doses of it all the time, so that I just always feel crappy and unhealthy instead of having one big traumatic experience when I stumble on it, is probably not something I should have been eating in the first place. We went out tonight in a big group, to celebrate a birthday, and I threw caution to the wind and didn't ask about ingredients in my food. I had already been dabbling in corn-based products from Thanksgiving, and I thought I could live dangerously and eat an enchilada. I suspect I ate a whole lot more than just corn, in the sauces that coated my food and in the cheese sauce inside of it. I feel like I am about to explode like Mr Creosote from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. Before the night is over, I'm going to be sitting with my ribs spread open, torso half-missing, guts sprayed around the room. It was hilarious in a movie. It won't be so fun to live it.
Apparently I didn't do enough to explain to the Pride and the Pack about Santa Claus. They must have forgotten that they are supposed to be well-behaved children at this time of year. Elsa keeps trying to claw her way through the screen and glass doors out back, as if she's ever allowed to use that door. Athena has already pulled ornaments off the tree. Rabbit can't seem to stay away from the spot where the lights plug in, especially where the delicious plastic warning labels stick out near the plugs. I keep catching her with the cords wrapped around her neck, like she is one good startle away from running and pulling the tree down as she goes. Considering how often the other three like to sneak attack her, I need to find a way to tuck those cords in sooner than later. The boxes of decorations are still spread out over the living room, and an awful lot of tissue paper (that usually pads the ornaments in their containers) has been snacked upon. Wasn't Krampusnacht a couple nights ago? We should have had this discussion with them already.
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