After comparing myself to Ado Annie just a few days ago, maybe I should take a moment and pat myself on the back for having found the slightest sprinkling of common sense and saying no. I recognized how thoroughly I have overdone everything for the last week or two, and once I got home from wearing myself out in the sun -- again -- I listened to my body, which was screaming in pain and fatigue. I called up my friend, and I volunteered to be the first person kicked off of our parade float. I would be much better served by sleeping late tomorrow and staying out of the sun (for once), rather than pushing myself one more day in a row. I couldn't walk along side the float, handing out candy, even for the fourteen blocks that the entire circuit will cover. The antique chuck wagon that someone found for our float takes up most of the space on it, leaving very little room for people to ride on it. We already have the executives for the different Rotary clubs in town on there, plus one of our former mayors. I don't need to be there. They all can wave to the crowd just fine without me.
As soon as I made the decision to say no, I felt better emotionally. Unfortunately it was too late to feel better physically. I am so sore and so tired I don't know what to do with myself. My roommate made dinner, and that was a huge relief (and a good meal). What I'd love to do is retreat into some of the old painkillers from one of my surgeries, but the doc told me that I'm not supposed to use any of those anymore, as they don't mix well with lupus. All I have for pain is a daily anti-inflammatory pill that does absolutely nothing to help. I'm still several months out from the anti-malaria drug that they prescribe for lupus from being built up enough in my system to reduce pain. I've more or less sworn off of alcohol, because it makes me feel so crappy with all of these other things in my system. I guess my final options are Tylenol and soaking in hot water. So that's what I'll do. I'd cross my fingers in the hopes that it will work, but since even they hurt, I'll just use that phrase purely metaphorically.
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