I was right. I needed a recovery day. I can't imagine if I had gone through with the original plan of getting up for the parade, I'd probably be a quivering pile of misery right about now. As it was, I got a jump on the pile of misery part, and stayed in bed as late as I could stand it this morning. I didn't sleep the entire morning away, but I gave it my best shot. Not sure I am what a normal person would consider "rested." I stopped burning the candle at both ends, and that was good enough for now.
Yesterday marked one whole year since we signed for this house. The last year has certainly not turned out like I imagined it would, when I was so optimistic and happy about gaining my new Park. In fact, not a single thing seems to have gone according to plan. The new year starts today. I started sorting stuff this afternoon. It's time to move on and rearrange my surroundings, customized to me and no one else. I've begun emptying closets, hanging up a few more paintings, deciding what will go to charity. I don't have unlimited energy, so whittling down my belongings and streamlining my house is going to go in very small steps. But I'm ready. I had to grieve and I had to find acceptance. Now my skin is a little thicker, my spine a little more stiff. I'm not less angry, but that may come in time. I'll let the anger power me for a little while.
I think I'll go back to the basic house cleaning in the hours before I'm able to fall asleep again. I'm sure Athena would love to help me. It took her less than ten seconds to discover that I'd emptied my laundry hamper. Imagine her joy when I try to remake the bed.
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