Condolences

Inspirational song: Mother (Pink Floyd)

It's a time for quiet reflection. My world got a little bit smaller again. I spent a lot of my time in high school hanging out with one particular family. The son used to tease me when we were in junior high, but by the time I met his sister and she and I became friends in high school, the days of teasing were over. We all got along just fine. Once I started spending time at their house, I discovered an extra set of parents that I never knew I needed, but was so glad to acquire. I felt completely at home with this family, and I kept them close to my heart for the rest of my life. I haven't gotten to be with them in person as much as I wanted to in my adult years, but I managed to see the daughter several times when I flitted through my home town, and had digital contact with the rest of them. Three years ago this month, the father passed away from the same illness that my own father has survived. I learned this afternoon that the mother passed away today. I am heartbroken for my friends, especially considering the way the family dynamics played out over the span of our lives.

I was not in close contact when the parents divorced. I was not privy to all of the details, and I never wanted to pry to discover them. I decided I would rather not invade their privacy or ask the hard questions. I just accepted that a wall had grown between my friend and her mother, and I tried to be neutral because I loved them both. I had noticed that the mother had become eerily silent on Facebook, and a month or two ago I went digging to learn that she had been ill, and had posted that she would be online less often. I didn't realize it was so serious until her son announced her passing this afternoon. I hate knowing that mother and daughter never reconciled before her death, but the daughter seems to have accepted the reality of the situation. I still love the whole family, and wish I had more comfort to offer them. I have no advice, nothing tangible to help them through this time. All I can do is what I've always done, keep them in my heart forever.