Tuesday, June 22, 2021

The Right Flower

Inspirational song: Tusk (Fleetwood Mac)

I really needed music tonight. I had a song stuck in my head, and needed to push it out. I chose a playlist that had a lot of the stuff I listened to in high school, which happened to include my ear worm in third position in the queue, and let it go. Much of it really rocked as summer evening music, and I don't know how you spent your Tuesday, but I'm enjoying the heck out of being 17 again for a few hours. The above-mentioned song came on, with that driving drum line, and I wondered aloud whether that was the reason I believe that marching band drum cadences are one of the greatest inventions of mankind. It must have been the spark that woke me to that fundamental truth.

I've been walking around on cloud 9 today, which feels odd after my diagnosis on Friday. It feels so lucky that it will all work out okay, and even improve my situation somewhat. I'm looking forward to improved posture and reduced back pain once this is all done. I saw an updated result for my biopsy on the portal this afternoon, and it says the area of calcifications is 5.5 cm by 3.5 cm. That is huge! No wonder it makes sense to do the reduction at the same time.

I've set a goal for myself. If I'm going to have this sort of surgery done in two months, I need to get rid of as much pandemic weight as possible between now and then. I want to come out of this feeling proportional, and I want to reduce potential complications from surgery. It's low carb time again. Brutally low carb. There will be cranky days ahead while my body screams out for sugar, but I have a deadline to meet. Even 15 pounds would make a big difference for the process and healing. 

When I first contemplated the reconstruction surgery last year, I was asked whether I wanted the surgeon to create an artificial nipple on the side where there currently is none. I've been told the tattoos of them are nearly indiscernible from the real thing. My kids convinced me if I'm going to have a tattoo there, I should get something meaningful. I decided it would be a flower. I chose the humble dianthus. It's available in every plant center across the country. It's inexpensive. It is sold as an annual. But it is beautiful, easy to grow, hardy as hell, and it comes back every year. It persists, and it looks good doing it. I just have to settle on a color that works in tattoo ink.

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