Completion

Inspirational song: Incomplete (Fish)

I am one of those people--one of THOSE--who almost never finish anything they start. I have to focus so hard to get all the way through anything. Without a hard deadline, I accomplish nearly nothing, and even then, I miss things that aren't critical to my survival. I have half paintings, half sculptures, half gardens, and half stories littering my house and my mind. I carry them around with me physically and emotionally, in their unfinished states. I often wonder what it would take to go through all of them and finish them. I suspect it would have to start with getting cut off from the Internet, telephone, and television. But even then, I would find ways to be distracted. I would suddenly need a nap every time I picked up an abandoned needle work canvas. I would decide I need to cook an elaborate dinner if I were confronted with a row of bedding plants still in their tiny nursery pots. I would forget how to crochet if I were told I would freeze without that 90% done blanket. It must be a sickness, right? What is my primary malfunction? Why can't I finish a project, when it is for me?

I haven't given up on the ghost story yet. I know I haven't a chance in hell of getting to fifty thousand words by Saturday. But I'm not sure that was my true challenge. I need to just tell the story, all the way to the end. If that were only twelve thousand words, I would be okay with it. I know how it ends. That's better than where I stand on a lot of other stories I started over the years. I brainstormed on details of the story with my older daughter tonight. She knows well the inspiration behind it, and she had a great way to make the ending work right. I just need to put it into words. And that is the hardest part. I'm down right now, but I am not out yet. I've already made changes for the better. I write every single day, even when it is just my three or four paragraphs right here. I want to take days off all the time, and I don't do it. I haven't in months. I'm already through seven of the twelve months of my original challenge to myself, of writing every day for a year. If I can complete that, I can complete anything. I will change my ways. I will conquer my .. Uh.. Hey, look. Kittens. Aren't they cute when they sleep?