My song is not entirely accurate tonight. I DID start a fire. I just never managed to figure out the flue. I thought I had it open, but even though I had a nice start to my first fire of the season, the first I've tried to start in years, it never, ever blew smoke up the chimney. I tried the flue in both positions. I tried it halfway in the middle. I started getting more frantic with my attempts once the smoke alarms started going off in the house. No matter what I did, the house continued to fill with smoke. I decided to give up on the fire, and grabbed the squirt bottle I use to impress upon the kitten that she does not belong in the ficus tree in the living room. That's when I learned just how well I had gotten this fire started. It didn't go out. I had to pour a pitcher of water on it, and then another after I took a break to let my eyes stop burning. Once I had had enough of the smoke alarms, and unplugged them, I got a talking to from my big rabble-rousing boy kitty. He is usually quiet, but he was displeased with me to say the least.
The house is still full of smoke, but at least now the alarms are quiet, I don't feel so bad about opening a window. The last thing I need right now is one of my neighbors making assumptions and calling the fire department. They just don't teach people (specifically girls) how to do this properly anymore. I guess everyone else has gas logs in their fireplace. I feel like a failure now. I may never qualify for a man card at this rate. I suppose it's a good thing I already painted the walls gray.
I'm having a hard time writing around the frantic loving of a kitten under my chin. Is she as tense as the boy and I are, after the alarms and smoke? The other black cat was giving me baleful looks, very different from the grateful affection I got this afternoon when I let her go out and play, while I collected the firewood. She was quite pleased with me then. She rolled in the dirt, ran, climbed trees, and generally had a great time. Now, she's presenting her backside to me, waiting for the smoke to clear.
It's frustrating to go from feeling on top of the world, viewing my completed holiday sign, to sitting in a house full of smoke, wondering how much of my stuff I have ruined. I was on such a high, and not just from the fumes from the spray varnish I used to seal the sign. I am super proud of this year's entry. I can't wait to deliver it for display and judging. I wanted to relax with a little fire and maybe some hot chocolate, and then get a good night's sleep. So much for good intentions.
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