Monday, November 4, 2013

On Edge

Inspirational song: Help Me Make It Through the Night (Kris Kristofferson)

My nerves are on edge tonight. There are a lot of things I'm waiting for, all across the good/bad spectrum. The first is what I have wanted for months, sort of. I took the kitten in to be spayed this morning, and they kept her overnight for observation before she can come home. I am pleased that she is being cared for, but I am nervous as hell about my baby having surgery. I would have handled this much better if we hadn't had the tragedy with the other kitten not surviving following surgery to repair a hernia and be spayed at the same time. I have to believe she will be fine, but that doesn't mean I haven't had a stomachache all afternoon wanting her to be here. She acted like she knew today's car ride was out of the ordinary. She threw a fit while I was in the drive through to get a coffee, and when I let the barista peek at her, she proved very difficult to get back in the carrier. I reached for my purse at one point, where it had fallen against the mesh of her "door," and I nearly lost my hand. She was hysterical (ironically enough). She cried louder than ever the whole time. I can't pick her up until tomorrow afternoon. This is going to be a long, awful night.

I finally get to see the doctor tomorrow about the problem with my shin that refuses to go away. I tried hard to pretend that it was just going to stop, but I could only lie to myself for so long. I realized at the CU football game that cold weather makes it significantly worse. As soon as I got home and settled last week, I called for an appointment. It's probably a good thing it took so long to get in. The weather turned colder here, and I refused to turn on the heat for lows in the 40s. (I only closed the windows this afternoon.) I had plenty of confirmation that cold was an issue. I might not have remembered to bring it up otherwise. Of course, I still don't know that anything to advance the healing will happen tomorrow. I thought something would come of the last visit other than "if it still hurts in two weeks, call me." (That was almost five weeks ago.)

I would be better off if I could just let myself sleep until lunchtime tomorrow. My older daughter is waiting for something that could be big, could be a crushing disappointment, and if I tell any more about it, I will be chastised for jinxing it. My man called again today with bad news from his kitten world. I'm starting to dread seeing his name on the caller ID. I don't know what is going on there, but there is either an awful virus, contaminated cat food, or one very evil human interfering in his pride. There is no good answer.

I think I have some pictures of Athena from the last 24 hours, while I anxiously await adopting her tomorrow afternoon, for reals and for evah.


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